Well that was a weird six weeks...

School is back in session, I am back at work, and...

We sold our house!!!

Well, technically we haven't sold it yet. We are waiting on our solicitors, and theirs, to finish up the paperwork. But we have moved out of 48 Fleetgate and into a nice (albeit much smaller) house just a few streets down on Finkle Lane.

So here's what happened:

Sarah and Hannah loved the house, they made an offer, it was a bit low so we met them half way. They agreed, and we formally accepted their offer. Then a survey was done and we had to reduce the price as their mortgage company demanded a cash retainer from them because of some issues. Not a huge deal--the house IS really freaking old. Annoying, but they were fair about it. We agreed to a completion date, and started looking for a house to rent. We found a house, got that all squared away, then started packing for our move. I got chicken pox (that's right, BLOOMING CHICKEN POX) and didn't feel up to doing much packing. The Mundays came and helped. The Tillings came and helped. Noelle's husband Richard came and helped. The missionaries helped a bit, as well. My visiting teacher and mother-in-law helped me pack up the kitchen. The Mundays helped again, including feeding us dinner when we were too tired to move. Martin worked through it all, putting in 10 hour days on a building site and 5 hour nights moving house. The kids were annoying. My asthma flared up. We finally got all moved out on the seventh of September. The solicitors still haven't completed.

ARGH!!!

I am a bit of an emotional wreck/giant ball of stress. We are in the new house, but there is no storage there and we have a lot of stuff. Granted, I am planning on getting rid of a great deal of it. But for the time being, we are shuffling around it. That first night I crawled over the boxes into our bed and cried myself to sleep, miserable that we were in this tiny house while our beautiful old (HUGE) house stood empty just a few streets away. I love that house. So many happy memories were made there. And now that it's completely empty and clean, I can see just what a great house it really is. I can't stand messes, and the new place will be one for a while until we get some storage sorted out. It feels cramped and messy, and I just want to go home. But we are doing this, and it will be worth it in the long run.

Our plan is to stay in England until around June. Then we will move back to the U.S., find jobs, get settled, and have a little bit of a summer break before the kids start school. We are hoping to buy a house, something that we can fix up like we did here. We are making a decent profit on the sale over here, so it should work out pretty well.

So there you have it--our last six weeks. Pretty mental, huh? So much for relaxing days with plenty of bike rides and picnics and swimming. Instead it was non-stop stress and paralysis, and packing, and denial, and graft. Oh, and a few lie ins as well.

This is just the first step in our journey back to Utah, and while it is incredibly stressful, it is also what we've wanted for over 5 years now. We're excited!

My favourite part of winter...

It's no secret that I hate winter in England. Autumn is lovely, summer is nice, and spring in this country is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. But winter is cold, grey, and dark. I have two things that I look forward to during this long, horrible season. The first thing is the Winter Solstice, which marks the start of slightly longer days. It's such a relief when the shortest day of the year has passed.

The second thing I look forward to happened just this week. I saw my first snowdrop! Soon it will be daffodils and tulips, then the hedgerows will begin to bloom. That creeping mist of green will descend, the rhododendrons will explode with almost tropical colour, and I will be happy. It happens every year, without fail.

England is amazing--the history, the scenery, and the green. Oh, the green! But I'm just not cut out for winter here. Utah is so much colder, but the sun still shines. I miss that so much. Especially the way fresh powder on the mountains looks--like diamonds with the sun glinting off the ice crystals.

I'm melancholy tonight. I think I'd sell my soul right now to move back home. It might be easier than trying to sell my house.

It must be time to go somewhere or do something to remind myself how much I love England. Maybe a little trip to York next Saturday? Maybe Lincoln? How about it family? If you were in England, what would you do next weekend?

Why I wish I was back in Utah for Thanksgiving...

My dad sent this e-mail through a few days ago:

We are just putting the menu together, we still have a few holes to fill.
Turkey-Neil/Sharlene
Ham- ?
Potatoes/gravy Neil/Sharlene
Rolls- Neil/Sharlene
Cranberries Neil/Sharlene
Green Salad- Velecia/Eric
Stuffing- Angie/Greg
Yams- Krystle/Blaine
Cheeseball- Neil Sharlene
Crackers- Krystle/Blaine
Fruit Salad- ?
Relish Tray- ShaNeil/Russell
Apple Pie- Angie/Greg
Deswert- Velecia/Eric
Pumpkin Pie- ?
Paper Products- ?

Here's my list:


Turkey-Jamie
Ham-Not enough people attending to necessitate
Potatoes/gravy-Jamie
Rolls-not bothering, since father in law won't eat bread
Cranberries-Jamie
Green Salad-what, in winter?
Stuffing-Jamie (home-made stovetop since Stouffer's isn't available in England)
Yams-Jamie
Cheeseball-why bother? It's just dinner
Crackers-see above
Fruit Salad-crap, hadn't thought about that. Jamie? Might have to run to the shops!
Relish Tray-see cheeseball
Apple Pie-nope
Dessert-Jamie (pecan pie)
Pumpkin Pie-Jamie (once again, made from scratch as canned pumpkin is not available)
Paper Products-puhleeze! I will be doing all the dishes afterwards.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother, but then I remember that my children are half American, and I want them to celebrate that fact.

Happy Holidays, y'all!

Update...

I spoke to the Poesis team today about my counselling. I have been referred to the care of a clinical psychologist. That was surprising to me. Apparently, the therapist I was seeing before didn't feel qualified enough to deal with my issues. Wow. I must be even more messed up than I thought.

It's funny how you just suck it up and get on with things for years without really noticing lots of stuff. Then you start to think about the past and really analyze it, and all of a sudden the weird things you do start to make sense. The strange moods become clear. The quirks become understandable.

Martin told me that I think too much, and that I should start doing puzzles.

Oh, I love my husband :)

So I will start seeing a shrink on the 26th of November. I'm actually really looking forward to it. I know it sounds crazy, but talking about all of the things that I've kept bottled up inside for all these years is amazing. It's like lancing a festering boil. All of this vile, poisonous crap is coming out. It leaves me feeling totally drained, but in a good way. Breaking my silence is so liberating.

Enough about me. Let's talk about my kids!

We had a parent teacher conference yesterday with Ms. Clayton, Dylan's teacher. It was really good. He is doing well in almost every single area. She had nothing but praise for his reading, spelling, and vocabulary. He is keeping up quite well in his maths, but she said that he's so advanced in his other areas that being average seems like he's behind. But he's not. The only area that he's struggling in is writing. He's keen, but his grip on his pen is weird. She showed us how he holds his pen, and he's writing like a lefty. But because he's right handed, it means he can't see what he's writing.

I asked how he was doing socially, and even that was a glowing report. Ms. Clayton said that Dylan is doing great socially. He is apparently very popular and always has friends to sit with and play with and is never lacking for a partner when they work in teams. AWESOME!

Edith helped me make bread and coleslaw today. That girl is going to be a fantastic cook when she grows up. She already knows all the ingredients that go into coleslaw. She's got such a good memory, and she is incredibly observant. She was really grumpy tonight, but her behavior has been much better lately. She's been sweet and kind more than she's been whiny.

In house news, I have nearly finished working on the bathroom. I have one small corner to plaster and paint, the ceiling to re-paint, and then that's it. Last night I patched some plaster and painted. This morning Martin helped me hang a few things on the walls. It's looking really good in there. I just need to get some new bath mats and a new shower curtain and the bathroom will be in great shape.

Martin got the extra door out front painted. There's just a bit of trim to paint white, some render to patch, and the hardware to fit. The front of the house is looking seriously good.

The DIY stuff is keeping me busy. It's such a good way of taking some control of my life. I can't make someone buy my house, but I CAN make sure it looks amazing and is more desirable to a potential buyer. Every time I work on the house, I feel like I'm taking a step closer to moving back to Utah!

I've got it bad...

We arrived in Utah at 11:45pm on Tuesday the 21st of August, after a long but (mercifully) uneventful flight. The trans-Atlantic leg was end-freaking-less--eight hours and 35 minutes. The in-flight entertainment system was only working for one of our seats, so we played musical chairs for nearly the whole flight. Edith loved the airplane toilets, and we had to use them about ten times during the flight. She got a little grumpy toward the end, but took a 45 minute nap on my lap and was good as gold when we landed in Atlanta.

Customs and immigration was a breeze. The immigration officers very kindly allowed me to use the US citizens line, even though Edith was travelling on a British passport. I didn't need any help, but it was volunteered on several occasions. We had a longer layover than I thought, so we all got a little bit bored and antsy waiting for our connecting flight. The kids spent the entire flight sleeping, and I got to read (Emma, that Kindle has been a GODSEND! Thank you!).

So yeah, we flew. We got bored. We arrived. No lost luggage, no vomiting, no seizures, no crying. My children were models of good behavior, and I was so relieved.

(Thanks for the blessing, Mr. Gilbert)

The first day here was rough, as always. The kids got up at 4:30 am, and I was running on two hours of sleep all day. But we followed the jet-lag rules, spent as much time outside as possible, didn't nap, and went to bed at a sensible time.

We are having a great time--Lofley family reunion yesterday, cousin DJ's missionary farewell today, and just family stuff all day long. I've missed these guys so much, and though we live so far apart, I always feel like we slip effortlessly back into our place in the family when we come home. I expected to feel that way.

What I did NOT expect to feel was like a foreigner in my own country. It's a very strange sensation. People keep making eye contact with me, and it's weirding me out.
Everyone is so friendly. Nobody is smoking. It's so CLEAN! I don't feel like I belong here.

Don't get me wrong--I still want to move back here more than anything. But this trip is kind of an eye-opener for me. I really feel more comfortable in England now than I do in Utah. Going back there and waiting to sell our house is going to be easier from here on out, I think.

The biggest revelation to me is how much I miss my husband. He's probably on his flight to SLC right now, and I can hardly wait to see him. It was so hard to say goodbye to him at Heathrow, and I am seriously sad without him. Nearly eleven years of marriage, and I am still so crazy about him that I can't bear to spend this much time apart. Pathetic, but kind of awesome!

Losing my religion...

About two weeks ago, Dylan informed me that they say a prayer in school every day at Assembly.  I was furious!

I was never opposed to all prayer in schools.  A lot of us would say prayers together before drill team competitions, volleyball games, plays and the like.  But I AM against the entire school coming together and praying.

It's not like I am against prayer.  We have taught both our children to pray.  I'm just worried that he's learning the "wrong" kind of prayers.

I was actually that parent who spoke to his teacher about it at parents' night--demanding to know all the details and asking why I wasn't informed they were doing it.    After all, it's a State school, not a Church of England school.  She actually offered to take him out of the room during the prayer if I felt it necessary.

Isn't that funny?  We probably go to church more in one week than most of the people at his school go to in a year, and I'm the one who pitched a (mini) fit about prayers in Assembly...

Maybe I'm too American in this regard.  I was raised to believe in a separation of Church and State, and anything other than that just seems wrong.

At any rate, I am not making Dylan leave Assembly for prayers.  I am just informed now, so I can do religious damage control at home if needs be.  I want him praying the way I teach him, not the way his school Head teaches him.

I can't wait to get Dylan in an American school.  NOT because they are superior to English schools, mind you.  Just because I am more familiar with what goes on over there than I am over here.  It's all so, well, foreign!

Must be able to cook, clean, and sew...

I have decided what my dream job would be.  It doesn't require a degree, or even a high school diploma.  It wouldn't necessitate being able to type, use the Microsoft Office suite, do data entry, or really even have good "people skills."  I wouldn't demand a high wage, just room and board as compensation.

I want to be a 19th century farm wife.

I am envisioning a large kitchen with an enormous wooden farmhouse table, a massive wood burning stove, cold running water, and a huge pantry full of buckets of lime to keep the moisture down, salted, cured pork, and home preserved foods.  Fruits and vegetables like jewels in shiny glass jars, and a chipped vase of wild flowers on the table.

Yeah, I'm totally digging that.

I have big plans for when we move back to Utah, though I've started working toward them here.

I want to have an amazing garden.  Not just a pretty one, though.  I want everything in my garden to be edible as well as beautiful.  I don't just want shade trees--they will need to be either fruit or nut trees.  I want living fences made of trained apple and pear trees.  I want decoratively planted vegetables and edible flowers, with scented herbs.

We have such limited space in our little garden here, but we had quite a few vegetables and even a bit of fruit from it.  Just imagine what we could do with a bit more space and a lot more sunshine.

By the way...

I baked some more bread today, and last time was not a fluke.  It looks a bit wonky, but tastes fantastic.  I could totally do that farm wife thing.  Maybe.

Manic!

We've had the most insane week ever.

Martin had the week off, we went on holiday, and did DIY in preparation for a house viewing today.  It doesn't sound very busy, does it?  But the holiday was a camping one, and the DIY involved plastering and painting the stairwells and landings, the fireplace in the dining room, one wall in the bathroom, and a wall and part of the ceiling in the kitchen.

First of all, we had some insanity and a totally wasted day trying to get an air compressor to machine plaster our walls.  To make a very long story short, Martin started out at 10am and drove all over Hull and Scunthorpe, making multiple purchases and returns, only to find out at 6pm that his dad had an air compressor sitting at home in his garage.  It was a bad day for everyone.

Wednesday involved the actual plastering--or most of it anyway--and having our home teachers and my book club ladies over.  That was stressful, too.  We had to do some hard work, followed by enough cleaning to have company over.  We probably should have kept working, in hindsight.  Oh well--Martin got to go to the cinema and I had a great visit with the book club.  We'd read Amy Chua's "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," and the discussion was interesting.

Thursday morning (after some frustrating last minute packing) we headed out in the car for our holiday destination--Norfolk.  We stayed just outside a village called Wells-next-the-sea, which was charming and lovely.  I'll write more about our Norfolk adventures later, as I need some time to do them justice.  For now, I will just say that I found Norfolk wonderful in every way.  Far superior to Lincolnshire, which is really saying something, considering how much I love my home here.

Anyway, we came home on Saturday and have been working on the house ever since.  Well, except for Sunday night when the Mundays came over.  We had a great visit.  Yesterday was especially productive, with several ongoing projects being finished. 

Martin is back at work in 2 1/2 hours, so now I have to clean everything for the viewing by myself.  But I have quite a while to do it, so it's ok.  A big job, considering all the plaster dust I've got to clean up, but manageable.

I hope this viewing is the one that sells the house, but if it doesn't that's ok with me.  The house is starting to look really lovely.  In fact, I'd almost hate to sell it after all the work we've put in.

Almost!

Fingers crossed, everyone...

5 years gone in our five year plan...

We always meant to live in England for about 5 years, and it was 5 years ago yesterday that we flew back here to live.

Time's up. 

We have another viewing of our house scheduled for Wednesday morning--the first one in nearly a year.  Apparently, the guy who's coming to look at the house is keen to buy and has the money already lined up.  It will be a second home, and since both parties are unencumbered by other houses, mortgage issues, etc. if he chooses to buy ours it could happen in about 6 weeks.  We'd have to find someplace to rent while we sort out green cards and U.S. passports, but would be home soon.  Maybe 6 months, tops.

Everybody do some serious praying for us. 

I love England, and I will sincerely miss it when we move back to Utah.  But I still want to come home. 

My top ten list of things I miss about living in Utah:

10--General Conference is on TV so you can watch it in your pajamas whilst doing puzzles.

9--The smell of the desert after it rains.

8--The food.  More specifically, Cafe Rio, Wendy's, Ranch dressing, decent pickles, Granny B cookies...I could go on!

7--Oh, the mountains.  How I miss them!

6--Not having to lock everything up and bolt everything down to keep it from getting stolen!

5--The L.D.S. church culture--not having your doctor weirded out by your garments, everyone understanding why you don't drink coffee or tea, being able to buy church books, scriptures, pictures of Jesus, etc. for VERY cheap!

4--Proximity to the Temple.

3--Being able to pick fruit and vegetables from my daddy's garden and orchard.

2--Cousins-lots and lots of cousins-for my kids to play with.

1--Seeing my family.  ALL of them!

Time to move on...

I have been in England too long!

One of my sister's friends is in Scotland. I was blogstalking because she posted a comment on Krystle's blog about being there and I was curious (incidentally, why do people think that's such a shameful thing? I'm totally addicted. Say it with pride, Michelle!). I read a few of her posts, the ones that the kids and time allowed, and it made me sad.

I remember when everything here was fresh and new and quaint to me, the way Scotland is for Michelle. Now a lot of things that I loved about living in England are just the way things are--not exciting or unusual. Just ordinary and boring and sometimes irritating!

I suppose some parts of my life might still seem quaint to my fellow Yankees--especially the ones in Utah. I buy my cakes and some of my meat from a traditional butcher's shop. I live in a nearly 200 year old house. I pick wild fruit from the hedgerows. I drive on the left side of the road. I frequently make delicious foods like Toad in the Hole, bubble and squeak, etc. I go to pubs that are hundreds of years old for meals. But life over here is just life now--there's no sparkle!

But before you get all offended (Emma), I'm not saying I don't like it. I DO! It's just ordinary now. I don't feel like an ex-pat. I feel like I belong here. Sometimes I even forget that I don't.

It's so time to leave!

More sleepless nights...

Today finds me up at the crack of dawn once more. Edith and Martin are sleeping peacefully upstairs and Dylan and I are watching cartoons. He's been up since 5 am. I don't know how he can function on the amount of sleep he's been getting. He cried himself to sleep on his bedroom floor yesterday and got about a half hour of sleep. Then I took him to the Ulceby church fete and the Mundays' house and he ran around like a madman for 4 hours. He got to bed late and his sleep was disturbed when we came home. And he STILL woke up early. What else can I do?

I honestly think that I'm going to have to start going to bed at 9 pm. How lame is that?

I have a sneaking suspicion that it's going to be a very long day. Sundays are really rubbish for me anyway, with the 4 1/2 hour ordeal of church (it takes us 30 minutes to get there and get home, plus chatter time after the meetings) and all of the rest of stuff that's involved in getting us there and home. Sunday throws off nap schedules, and if it's a home game it also involves the mess of keeping the kids entertained at a baseball game.

Today we will be leaving church early because Martin is going to work. He's put in a long week this week!

I've had quite a few days this week when I wanted to pack this whole motherhood/housewife thing in, ship the kids off to daycare, get a job, and not bother with cooking and cleaning and wiping dirty bottoms all day long. Honestly, most of the time I love being a wife and mother now. But the nights have been too short and the days have been so long. I've had no time to myself, and I really NEED that time. I am tired.

In other news, I've found the house that I want when we move home. It's in Heber, so is close to Park City but not as expensive as buying a house there. It's in our price range, and is one of the older homes. The inside is beautiful, though it is classed as a "fixer." It needs a little bit of work, but nothing like what we've had to do here. The outside needs a coat of paint and some serious landscaping. But it's a quirky house with 4 bedrooms and fun little historical features. Downsides include the fact that there is no garage and it's on a busy street, but it is on a corner lot and has a chain link fence all around it so it is safe for kids even if the fence is ugly.

Finding this house has really spurred me on in my desire to get this house sold. When I got the pictures that I requested from the realtor I immediately got all fired up to get the finishing touches jobs done here. I spent that evening scraping more wallpaper, and I will do the same again tonight.

You know when you see a house and you can just picture yourself living there? That's how I feel about this one!

I'm going to take this early morning opportunity to get some work done on my church calling. I hesitate to do it because my brain is really fuzzy this time of day, but I might as well be productive. I'm going to be awake for a lot of hours today and might as well get a lot done during them. On the bright side, I don't have a baby latched on to me feeding right now so at least both of my hands are free!