Showing posts with label Questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Questions. Show all posts

Saturday, July 12, 2014

I miss it...

I never thought I'd feel thus way, but I miss being a mother of young children. Don't get be wrong, I much prefer older ones. But parenting was simpler when the kids were small. Basically, if they were putting on weight at a steady rate, clean, and hitting their developmental milestones,you knew you were doing it right. I like knowing I'm doing it right! I don't know that any more.

Dylan has been caught stealing again. What can I do to make him see how wrong this is?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Succinct...

Am I becoming too wordy?  I was contemplating in the shower this morning (where I always do my best thinking) as I had been writing my bread making post just prior.

So I'm wondering--and expecting at least SOME of you to comment--which is better; that post, or this one...

One in the Oven...

I baked a loaf of bread for the first time in nearly 5 years today.  I used to bake when we lived in Utah, with lots of success.  But I struggled when we moved here, then I had two kids and was reluctant to be in the middle of kneading when a kid emergency needed my attention.

Mostly, though, I was afraid of more failure.

I read a tip about bread making a few months ago, and with Dylan in school all day now I decided to give it a go.  Result?  Practically perfect (though not as good as yours, I'm sure) French bread.

Next up?  Sourdough bread.

Wish me luck...

Next up; the way I had to re-learn LOADS of skills when we moved to England!

Friday, November 05, 2010

Calling all parents...

Dylan has been having some behavior problems at school.  He's been bullying other kids, lying about it, and being totally blase about punishment.  He is also refusing to follow instructions.

He does all of these things at home, but not as much as he seems to be going them at school.  We had to have a chat with the school's "behavior specialist," Mrs. Cook, on Tuesday.  It was humiliating, to say the least.

The thing is, I KNOW why Dylan is acting up.  And I told them why he's doing it.  Dylan is tired.  No, scratch that.  Dylan is exhausted.  He only misbehaves when he's tired or hungry, and I know he's not hungry.  He goes to school on a full stomache and has access to fruit and veggies and drinks while he's there.  Up until just a few weeks before he started school, he was taking a 2 hour + nap every afternoon, and he still needs it!

Mrs. Cook wants to arrange a home visit to take a look at our discipline/rewards techniques.  I told her it wasn't necessary.  We are doing everything right.  I am the most consistent parent I know.  Seriously, I am!  I am not a natural parent, so I analyze everything I do like crazy.  I also make sure to encourage my children when they do something well because, once more, that doesn't come naturally either.  We do the naughty step.  We take away priveliges when Dylan disobeys.  We don't allow him to hit or bully his sister or any other kids he comes into contact with.  We really are doing everything right.  But she still wants to do this home visit, and she encouraged me to seek 2 year funding for Edith to go to nursery a few times a week.  She didn't say that it was so she wouldn't develop these same behavior problems, but it was heavily implied.

So how do I make them see that it is just exhaustion that is causing the problems?  And how can I resolve the issue?  The kids go to bed at 7pm, and they wake up between 5:30 and 6am.  We can NOT get them to sleep any later, no matter what we do.  I could try putting them to bed earlier, but Dylan will still have been awake for 6 hours when he goes to school and will still need a nap, which he will not take!

The obvious solution is to put Dylan in morning school, but we put him in the afternoon session because otherwise he would never get to see his dad. 

So, my question to all the parents out there is this:  What can I do to discourage his disobedience and bullying?  Where do I go from here?

I know the teachers are not exaggerating.  My kid is a monster when he's tired!
,

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Torn...

Edith is getting some HUGE front teeth.  I watched her eating her dinner last night, and admired the way she's figured out how to use them to tear her food.  Getting teeth is always exciting, because a whole new world of food opens up to the kids.  She's learning how to rip, tear, and chew much more efficiently.

I think I'm done breastfeeding her.

OUCH!

My dilemma is this:  How on earth do I wean her?  I'm still feeding her two or three times a day.  I feed her when I wake up, I feed her before her nap, and I feed her when she wakes up from her nap.  She doesn't need the nourishment, but she loves the comfort and the cuddles.  And, truth be told, I like the cuddles as well.  She's my baby, and part of me wants to keep her my baby for as long as possible.  But seriously--ouch!

I guess I could give it a few days and see if she stops scraping me to bits with her big (and, incidentally, VERY sharp) top teeth.  But if I keep feeding her now, when does it stop?  I certainly don't want to be one of those freaky women who feed their kids until they're like 3 or 4 years old!

Dylan was easy--he was down to just one feed a day when I stopped breastfeeding him, and I was already pregnant with Edith.  I wasn't sad to stop.  I needed to stop because I wanted my body to myself for a few months before I had a newborn to feed.  And I couldn't imagine trying to feed two of them at the same time.  Now I just don't know.  Dylan was about the age that Edith is now when I finally weaned him, but she seems so much younger.  She's so tiny and delicate, and still seems like such a baby because she's so small.

The WHO advises women to breastfeed their babies until they are two years old.  Culturally, most women in England stop between 6-9 months.  I've managed a good compromise, I guess.  But opinions would be helpful here, so I am officially soliciting advise from you, my readers.  If you think I should stop, give me some tips for how to manage it.  And if you think I should carry on, give me some tips for dealing with teething pain!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Warning--may contain some politics...

\At the risk of alienating my dad (who, once upon a time referred to me as a "bleeding heart liberal"), I am going to post some of my feelings on the new health care bill.

I need to issue a disclaimer first:

I have been living away from the U.S. for nearly 5 whole years now, and don't have my finger on the political pulse of the nation.  I haven't been involved in all of the press and publicity of this new bill.  Nor have I read it.  I only know what the BBC chooses to report about it, and what I have seen on various friends' blogs and Facebook notes and status updates.  That being said, I still have some strong views on big government and socialized health care.  You don't have to read if you don't want to.  Really, I won't be offended.  Neither will I be offended if you choose to disagree and leave nasty comments (but please don't be too nasty)!

I've run the gamut of socio-economic situations in the U.S.  My family didn't have much when I was growing up.  Every penny was budgeted.  My dad worked his buns off to provide for his large, voracious family.  We always had health insurance, but we didn't go to the doctor unless we felt like we were on death's door.  My mom would save up unused antibiotics, never finishing a course herself, so she could give them to us when we had an infection and avoid incurring fees and co-pays.  I believe there were many times that she and my dad just sucked it up and suffered when they should have seen a doctor because they quite simply could not afford to go, even though we had insurance!

Later, when I moved out on my own, I didn't take out insurance.  Mostly because I was 21 years old and thought I was invincible.  I was working though, and I had a medical issue that resulted in an uninsured trip to the emergency room.  Let me tell you, the cost was crippling.  I lived on eggs and toast and little else for about 3 months, which was all the time I was allowed by the hospital to spread my payments out without incurring interest on the debt.

I got health insurance soon after that, and later added my husband to that insurance.  It was EXPENSIVE, but we needed it.  On two incomes, we were able to manage some pretty hefty medical bills that came our way.  Even with the insurance, we ended up paying several thousand dollars out of pocket for a bout of iritis and an ectopic pregnancy.

I travelled to the United States and my darling son had a medical emergency over there that we are STILL disputing with our travel insurance provider over.  It looks like things are going to go our way, but if they don't we will have about $8000 in medical bills, incurred over a 2 day period.  Scary!

Now I live in England, and I have been enjoying socialized health care for quite some time.  I am reasonably healthy, as are my husband and children.  I have had two c-sections, which I didn't have to pay for.  I received all of my pre-natal care free of charge.  Up until last year, we had to pay a small fee of around £6.50 for our prescriptions (lower income families receive them for free).  My childrens' check-ups have all been free.  My IUD was free.  My husband's imminent vasectomy will be free.  Childhood immunizations are free, as are prescriptions for my children.  I can take my children to the doctor's office any time I feel it is necessary, and have NEVER had to look at my bank balance first and weigh their health and comfort against my financial situation. 

We pay a lot of taxes in this country.  I paid my fair share while I was working, as did Martin.  When he was only employed part time, despite constantly looking for more work for over a year, government "handouts" were the reason that we didn't lose our house and were still able to feed our family.  Had we not had social healthcare, Dylan would have a massive scar on his face from taking a tumble.  He would have an undiscovered blood clotting condition and heart murmur.  He would have a hydrocele that was undiagnosed and untreated as well.  My daughter would have a broken arm that never got examined or treated.  I would be having countless problems with my asthma.  Honestly, now that Martin is working full time again I am more than happy to go back to paying those astronomically high taxes!

I hear a lot of people going on about how they shouldn't have to fund other peoples' laziness.  I hear a lot about how it's not fair, for me to work so hard so that other people don't have to work at all and can just sponge off the government.  Why should I have to pay because someone else won't work?  Personally, I don't see it like that.

I know there are a lot of people who live off the charity of others, and I know there is no such thing as a free ride.  Someone always has to pay.  But I know those people are already benefitting from government funded health care--it's medicare and medicaid!  The peple who will benefit most from socialized health care are the working poor--the ones who are doing everything they can to make ends meet and just can't quite do it.  The ones who aren't offered company subsidized medical benefits because they don't technically work full time.  The ones with large families who just can't afford the high premiums and co-pays.

I like things to be fair just as much as the next person.  I really do!  But honestly, sometimes people really can't catch a break.  People die every day in the United States because they can't afford to see a doctor.  How can that happen in one of the wealthiest and most developed countries in the world?  The rest of western society is appalled by the lack of social medicine in the U.S. and views it as almost barbaric.  And I kind of think they are right.

I have always aligned myself, politically speaking, nearly down the middle.  I lean to the republican side of things, but certainly not in this regard.  I don't think the government is responsible for all things, but I think it's right that they should be involved in THIS thing.  When people are dying because they can't afford to go to the hospital, the government has a responsibility to step in.  That is why we pay taxes!

I also find it interesting that most of the people who are opposed to socialized health care are right-wing "Christians."  Surely, Christ didn't teach that we should look out for number one and to hell with everybody else.  Am I my brother's keeper?  Well, sometimes, yes.  Especially when he can't take care of himself.  Even when you don't want to!

I don't know the specifics of the health care bill.  I know that the system is flawed.  But I fail to see how regulating an industry that has been taking advantage of people for years is "giving up my personal freedom" or "losing sight of the American dream."  I just don't get it.  When did taking care of someone who is less fortunate than me turn into a thing which, as an American, I shouldn't do?

I guess I just don't get what all the fuss is about...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Irrational?

I am so angry with my husband right now.  He took the day off to go to his friend Steve's "stag do."  No longer just a stag night, because it's a 2 day bender in, get this, Liverpool!  They can't just go on a piss-up in the town where they live, oh no!  They have to go to the other side of the country to celebrate properly, incurring hotel costs, scoring tickets to see live stand-up, costing us over £125, and leaving me on my own with two very young children for what amounts to nearly 4 days (if you count the fact that I was on my own with them prior to that because he was at work).

I know that Martin hasn't done anything like this for years.  I know that he works hard.  I know that it is, technically, HIS money that he is blowing on this.  I know all of these things, and yet I am still angry.

Mostly because of the deserting me with two very small children thing, but also because he took a whole Saturday off to do it, and he won't take a day off for his own daughter's birthday.

Oh yeah, I'm a bit upset about that!

It's going to be a long weekend.  It was just me and the kids all day Thursday and Friday, now we will be on our own all day today and I will have to manage both of them on my own at church tomorrow.  Awesome.

AM I being irrational, or is this anger justified?  You decide, dear reader!  Don't forget to leave a comment and cast your vote.  Should I just suck it up and try to be nice to him when he gets home because I'm out of line?  Or is he being just a wee bit of a b*$%@!d ???

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A question for all the parents out there...

How do you feel about leaving your kids in the car while you run in a shop to do a quick errand?  Like pay for your petrol or buy a stamp or pick up some train tickets or use an ATM?  It's such a hassle to get both kids out of the car to do these things when I'm only going to be about 3 minutes, but I'm not sure it's cool to leave them in there on their own.  With the doors locked, of course.  Any thoughts on this?  I'm not sure if it's kosher to do it or not!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

To monetize or not to monetize...

Will any of you, my faithful readers, be irritated or annoyed if I go ahead and monetize my blog? It will just mean some adds in the side bar, and although we probably won't get much for it--well, every little helps, right? I just wanted to put it to my readers first.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Calling all mothers...

Needing some parenting advice--especially from mothers with sons. I know that there is no "right" age to start potty training. I also know that boys are usually much slower at it than girls. But Dylan has started staying dry for most of the day and squatting and peeing as soon as his diaper is taken off. He's been doing it for about two weeks now, and I'm wondering if this means he is ready to start trying to use the potty. I know that the peeing when the diaper is removed is NOT just a reaction to cold air as he has never done that--not even as a newborn. I also know that urine really removes a lot of ground-in dirt from linoleum.

On Saturday I missed something strange about not having kids--leftovers for breakfast. I used to enjoy left over curry or pizza or meatballs for breakfast, but now I cook oatmeal for the family most mornings because I know that Dylan needs a good breakfast. I miss Chicken Dhansak for my morning meal!

Oh, and by the way, I still haven't had Newbie. Just thought I'd let you all know.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Calling all American parents...

I'm beginning to wonder if I am picking up weird British ways of raising Dylan.

As has been observed in the past, I am not exactly what you'd call a "natural mother." I was never that interested in babies as a child, and even LESS interested as a teenager and young adult. I only got interested when I decided to have children of my own, and even then...well, I'm not the most maternal person in the world. But what I lack in natural interest and ability, I make up for in effort.

I'm just worried that I am doing weird things now though, because I never really noticed the way things were done back home. All you American parent readers, could you please answer the following questions:

1) What age were your children when you stopped taking them places in a stroller and let them walk instead?

2) When did you try to wean them completely from either breastfeeding or a bottle? How old is too old to still be having a bedtime bottle?

3) Do you take your children to church in their stroller (people do it here, and I don't remember it being done back in the old home ward)?

4) What is your take on childrens' shoes? They cost around £30 over here and you take your kid to have them specially fitted. You are also advised to get them in shoes within a month or so of them starting to walk. What do the "experts" say over there?

5) At one year old, how much was your child eating? I worry that Dylan is over-fed. Also, when did you stop feeding them and let them exclusively feed themselves?

6) Do your kids watch a lot of television or movies? How much is too much?

Thanks everybody. I don't want to move back to Utah and be looked at like a parenting freak!