Family photos

A few weeks ago we had some photos taken, and I am just now getting around to posting a few--what a slacker!  I'm really pleased with the way they turned out.  We got some particularly lovely pictures of the kids and the weather was absolutely gorgeous.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Over the river and through the woods...

Elsham Hall lambing Sunday...

Edith turns two...

Cute kids...

Beautiful scenery...

A walk in the mist...

Feeding the ducks with Nanna...

Wow. Just, wow!

Edith woke up on Monday morning and decided to speak.

After months of just jibberish she has finally started parroting and picking up new words at about the rate of approximately 4 per day.  She has started pointing to things and telling me what they are.  This evening, when I tucked the kids in to bed, she made up a little song and sang it to herself.  Sure, it went "bum, bits, bum, bits."  It was still freaking awesome.

Oh, I love this girl!

Dylan had a bit of a rough day.  Martin took the kids to the park while I worked out at the gym, and when I got down there Dylan was trying to play with another kid there.  The kid wouldn't play with him, and Dylan was absolutely crushed.  He was even crying a little bit, and he has been not quite right all day long.  I tried to give him extra cuddles and make sure he knew how loved he is all day, and reminded him that he has loads of friends at school who DO like to play with him, but I don't think it was quite enough.  He's really quite a sensitive little lad.

I adore my little man, too.

Feeling all loved up about my kids tonight.  Every once in a while, being a full time stay-at-home mom is the best job in the whole world.

Some sauce would make this crow taste a bit better...

I have been really opposed to taking the Britishness test ever since they instituted it in 2007.  When it came time for my visa renewal I was so opposed to it (and so convinced that we'd be moving back to the U.S. in another 2 years' time) that I didn't apply for permanent leave to remain since the test was required.  I've always thought that it was a time-wasting and sneaky way of a) making sure everyone can speak English in a way that doesn't appear racist and b) getting more money out of already broke immigrants.

I was wrong.

I am in the process of studying for the stupid test since it seems unavoidable now, and although I still feel it's inappropriate for me to be taking it, I can understand why it's mandatory.

The test seems to be aimed at asylum seekers and other vulnerable people.  The study materials highlight all of the rights and privileges granted to people living in a democracy.  They reassure people that the law is there to help them and protect them, not exploit them.  The study materials highlight the fact that women are treated as equals in the UK.  They teach people where they can go for help if they need it.  Oh, and they throw in a whole bunch of really boring stuff about the history, government, and demographics of the country.

And as far as the English thing is concerned, well, a lot of people have come here from countries where they were marginalized.  If they don't learn to speak English and integrate, even if it's just a little bit, they will be marginalized here as well.

So here I sit, most of the way through the study guide for the Britishness test, totally humbled.  I was being far too cynical.  They really are just trying to help.

It's not very often you can say that sincerely about ANY government.

It probably won't happen again.

Nobody makes you crazier than family...

...and since my siblings and parents are an ocean and a continent (plus a small island) away, it can only be my in-laws. 

My sister-in-law has not spoken to my father-in-law since August of last year.  Though spilling the beans on the reason for the family feud would, no doubt, boost readership of my blog, it's not my gossip to share.  Suffice it to say that he is mostly wrong but partly right and too stubborn to bend.  She is mostly right but also slightly wrong, and it is really none of her business.  And she inherited the stubborn gene from her father so also will not bend.  It's a messy situation that makes it hard for the rest of the family to function normally.

I had a little conversation with her about how disgusted she is with her mother right now.  She's very angry because "Mum is putting her husband before her own children, and that's just not right."

I feel like I should mention at this point that my sister-in-law is 28 years old.

I love my children to pieces.  I really do.  I would do anything for them, because they are my babies--my own flesh and blood.  And right now they are my number one priority because their father can, for the most part, take care of himself.  They cannot, because they are young and dependent.  But part of the reason I love my children so much is because I had them with the man I love more than anyone else in the whole world.  I'm not wishing their childhood away, but I am sincerely looking forward to the time when my relationship with my husband can take top priority again. 

When Dylan and Edith are grown up, will I put my husband before them? 

Um, is the Pope Catholic?

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mother out there who feels this way.  Can I get an "Amen"?

I know that my mother loves me (and all my sisters and my brother as well).  I know she would do anything for me.  But I also know that I would never ask her to choose between me and her husband.  What a completely selfish thing to do!

Maybe my delightful sister-in-law's feelings will change once she has children of her own.  I really hope they do, because although you are always a mother, sooner or later you have to stop being "mommy" to your grown-up children.

All this from the girl who roundly criticized me for breastfeeding my daughter until she was nearly two.  Pardon my imagery, but you've gotta stop suckling at that (metaphorical) teat eventually. Personally, I think you ought to do it BEFORE you reach thirty.

Phew, I feel so much better now.
 
How funny that I felt the need to post this right before Mothering Sunday.
 
Hmmm...

Two whole years...

Edith celebrated her second birthday today.

I can hardly believe that my baby is two.  She's not even a baby any more--she's a proper little girl.  Of course, she'll still seem like a baby until she learns to speak.

I wanted to write a glowing post for her birthday about how lovely and wonderful she is.  Unfortunately, she has been a bit under the weather and very hard work, so it's hard to gush right now.  I've pretty much held her constantly for the past week, and it's getting a little bit old.

That said, she actually is a wonderful little girl.  She is a real old-fashioned beauty, and such a sweet-natured thing.  She is a joy to have around most of the time.  She sort of lives in her own little world, wandering around and looking at things, singing and babbling to herself.  She is incredibly affectionate.  She is very good at sharing (for a two-year-old). 

Edith adds so much to our family.  We all absolutely adore her, and can't really remember what life was like before she came along.  Much less fun, I'm sure.

We did have a very nice day, even though she is a bit fussy lately.  Christine, Cathy, and Martin's Gilbert grandparents came over, and Amy joined us as well.  We had sandwiches, coleslaw, Doritos, drinks, and cupcakes for dessert.  She loved all of her gifts.  I did have to take her to see the doctor because my sister-in-law judged me and made me feel like a bad parent for not taking her.  Turns out that I was right and it's NOT a chest infection.

Our bridal wreath in the back garden bloomed yesterday. 

These are the things that make me happy.

It was a much nicer day than the one that she was born.  Though that one involved IV morphine.

It's a good excuse...

We have been experiencing major laptop drama, which started with a busted power cord (we're on cord number 5 or 6, I forget which) and ending with a dodgy laptop power cord and a supplier who's unwilling to exchange it.  What a pain in the backside!

That being said, I have very little to blog about.  Life is good--moving along at a rather plodding pace with a few manic days sandwiched in for good measure.  Dylan is still loving school, Edith is still sweet and struggling to speak, Martin still works obscenely long hours, and I still just take care of everybody.

So what has happened in the last two weeks?  Well, Dylan had tonsillitis.  Now Edith has some sort of infection.  I had a bad week--only went to the gym one time last week--but am back on track with the exercise.  We've booked a mini-holiday for the Easter break from school (Dylan's off for nearly a month!) and will be spending two nights and three days near Windermere in the Lake District.  We're also going to go to the temple.  Oh, and Christine's coming with us.  Should be fun.

Got the news that Dad (the Cook one, not the Bowcutt one) is going to stop by on his way home from Kiev.  We're all looking forward to that.  I'm going to put him to work in my garden and on a gas appliance that needs removing.  And I'll have company in the evenings!

We had some family photos taken.  Some of them turned out pretty nice, and I'll be posting a few when I get a chance.  The kids look fab in them.

Edith has learned how to saw "very hot."

I got some more gardening done.

It's a thrilling life I lead.

I've had some strange dreams and even stranger thoughts as a result of those dreams, but I am still trying to sort those thoughts out. 

You're wrong...

Ok, so I know that some of you moms out there think you have the cutest children in the world.  Well, sorry to break it to you but you are wrong.  MINE are the cutest.  Check out a few of the pictures from our walk in Twigmoor Woods last weekend.

Dylan is just male perfection, with his sturdy little body and long, lean frame.  And those eyes--he's a heartbreaker in the making.

Edith, well, she is my flawless Victorian English rose.  Her tiny little body and those pixie fetures of hers!  Those big grey-green eyes and her beautiful red hair.  Oh my, she's going to break a few hearts of her own.

The best part is, not only are they physically beautiful, but they are lovely on the inside as well.  One of my chief joys in life is watching their personalities develop.  They are both so unique and wonderful in their own way, and they both add so much to our little family.

Dylan was playing with a friend for most of the day today, so it was just me and Edith.  We had a great time together, but we were certainly happy to have him back.  Our family just wouldn't be complete without both of them around.  The two of them make me happier than anybody else in this whole world.

A Walk in Twigmoor Woods...

Ummm...

I SO had something to post about earlier, but it's gone now.

They say you lose brain cells with each child you have (I totally support this theory). It's a good job Martin has refused to have any more kids, or I would have no brain cells left!

Dylan is going on an outing with school on Friday.  They're taking his class to St. Mary's church and they are going to "christen" a doll.  It should be pretty fun for him.  AND he has been invited to go to the Fun Forest with his friend Kai on Saturday.  My little baby boy is growing up so fast.  School trips, outings with friends, he'll be dating before I know it.

Edith is talking a little bit better every day.  Last weekend she mastered "wait," and she is absolutely brilliant with "up" and "hey."  We were out in the garden this morning, and what really amazed me was how perceptive she is.  That girl notices seriously everything.  Birds flying so high in the sky that I can hardly see them, dogs barking a few streets over, EVERYTHING!

I'll get some pictures up soon of our walk in Twigmoor Wood.  We had such a good time.  I decided that we would do something fun every weekend.  We just have to do it without Martin.  I can manage both kids on my own a lot easier now, so there is no reason not to.  And if he starts to feel left out, well, maybe he'll start taking the occasional Saturday off.

I'm not holding my breath.

A productive lunch hour...

So yesterday was a tough day, physically speaking, especially.

In the morning I did a gruelling workout.  While I was at the gym, Martin took the kids on a manure hunt.  We needed some "bulky organic material" for our borders in the back garden, and I had heard a rumor that a lady near Barton gave it away for free.  The poop hunt was on.

Result!

So while Dylan was at school and Edith was napping, I dug some horse manure into the flower beds, fertilized them with fish, blood and bone, and re-seeded the grass.

My body really hurts right now.

But man, you should see how beautiful the soil in my borders looks.  We just need one more bag of manure so I can finish the long border off.  Then I can sow some peas directly into the soil.  Dylan and I already planted tomatoes and pumpkins and marigolds in pots, which are sitting on the windowsill in the kitchen, just waiting for warmer weather.

I've got big plans for the garden this year.  Last year was just all about getting it decent.  This year is all about making it look beautiful.

I remember all the work we did at my parents' house in Nephi to get that garden beautiful and productive.  My favorite tasks by far were picking up rocks (used as a punishment for "naughty" behavior) and shovelling the yearly trailer full of turkey manure onto the soil.  At least dad had the tiller so we didn't have to dig all that in by hand.  It's kind of a back-breaking job, and that is a big ol' garden.

It's funny, because I used to hate yard work.  Now, it's a welcome break from housework.  And there's something soothing about taming nature and making it work for you.  I guess it appeals to the control freak in me.  And there's something very satisfying about planting some seeds and watching them grow.  The only thing better is planting those seeds and then later eating the fruits of the harvest.

I think I could totally dig being a farmer. 

We're having a tough week with the kids.  Edith is getting teeth (the last ones before her molars) and she is really ratty.  She wants pretty much constant cuddles, and it's a bit tiresome.  Dylan is just doing that normal toddler thing and testing all his boundaries, limits and rules this week.  Plus, he is being really insolent to his dad.  He doesn't speak that way to me, but Martin is a bit of a soft touch.  He may or may not get his mouth washed out with soap before the week is over.  I really don't like disciplining my children, but it's better to do it now and have them be decent people when they get to be teenagers, right?

Martin had to work on Sunday so he has today off instead.  Hooray!  I need to go wake him up.  Time to get another giant bag of poop...

Anger...

I don't lose my temper often.

No, really.  I don't!

I used to be angry a lot--mostly before I had kids.  My two little angels have really mellowed me out, because I was mostly angry about not being able to have children.

But boy, when I do get angry I don't do it by half.

I don't shout.  I don't throw things.  I don't swear at people.  I don't hit my kids.

I do work very efficiently.  I DO get very quiet.

I learned a long time ago that it is best for me to keep my anger inside.  When I am truly angry, I don't have a reliable social filter.  I say truly horrible things.  Things that are horribly true.  Some people say that you shouldn't bottle it all inside.  But I know that my temper burns white-hot for a very short time.  Grudges don't happen when I get angry.  Grudges happen when I say things in anger to other people.

It's been very quiet at my house lately, and I'm totally caught up on the ironing.

But today was full of fun and laughter, and dancing with my babies.  And I have a feeling that the housework is going to suffer for a little while.

On why I am turning into a gym freak...

Two women are responsible for my gym-freakishness, in an indirect sort of way.

I know this is going to sound slightly neurotic, but we all need to let our crazy out every once in a while, right?  Here we go...

One of my neighbor's partner left her.  Well, her and her two 13 month old twins.  Just came home from work one Friday night, said he wasn't happy any more, packed a suitcase, and left.  She didn't hear from him for absolutely ages, and got stuck with no job, no money, no man, and two kids to care for.  Did she give in?  Well, maybe a little bit, but only for a few months.  Now, two years later, she is fighting fit, sassy, and absolutely gorgeous.

And another acquaintence, she has two older kids and her marriage was kind of on the rocks.  She had another baby, maybe in an attempt to save her marriage.  I really couldn't say.  But her husband left when the baby was just a few weeks old, and she fell to pieces.  But only for a little while.  Then she picked up the pieces and got herself together.  Now she is dressing all cute, she got her driving license, a new job, and she's so happy.

I think both of these women let themselves go.  Then the men in their lives left them.  I think there's a reason that you call it "letting yourself go" when you stop caring.

Letting yourself go isn't just about putting on some weight and not doing your hair and make-up.  Letting yourself go is about forgetting who you were before you were married with children.  It really is letting go of yourself and forgetting all the things that you used to love to do and the friends you used to have.  And when you let yourself go, well, it seems like the man in your life lets you go as well.

I used to be totally confident in my marriage to Martin.  I know that he loves me, and I know that he loves the kids.  But I used to know that he loved me more than anyone else and why on earth wouldn't he?  Now, well, I'm starting to be that paranoid woman who is worried that she can't keep her man.  I think I've let myself go, and in more than just the physical sense.

So here I am slaving away at the gym at least 4 times a week, trying to re-gain a sense of who I am.  Trying to get myself back together BEFORE I lose my man.  So I can stay happy and confident and not lose my family.  Because the thing is, once these two women's partners left them, they found themselves.  They became the women that they were before.  I want to become the woman that I was so I can keep my happy marriage and be happy with myself as well.

Not that I am suggesting that Martin and I are struggling.  I still adore him, and still think that marrying him is the best thing I ever did.  Truth be told, we don't see each other often enough to be struggling.  But a few months ago a "friend" of mine suggested that Martin might be straying, and my old neurosis reared it's ugly head.  I thought that if she was seeing this, maybe I wasn't crazy for thinking these thoughts after all. 

It's not him.  It's me.  It's always me.

But my gym addiction can't do any harm.

Two milestones in as many days...

Dylan drew a tree yesterday.

Ok, so I know that doesn't seem very exciting, but it's the first time he's drawn an abstract  visual representation of something that actually exists.  AND he wrote his name next to it.  The tree is actually pretty amazing, and the writing attempt pretty dismal.  But I am seriously excited that he did both.  This is a fairly major developmental milestone.  Art as representation of the world around us is what distinguishes us from cavemen.  My son can think in a sophisticated way!

And Edith, not to be left behind, has started doing something amazing as well.  Most of you probably know that she is a very slow talker compared to her big brother.  He was speaking in (totally intelligible) full sentences by the time he was 22 moonths, and she mostly just babbles.  But she can fill in the end words of "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe..."  Some of the words aren't totally clear, but she says them consistently.  Which only confirms my suspicion that she has been speaking all along--we just can't understand her!  But she gets a little clearer and a little better every day.  I can't wait for her to be able to speak properly, because I have a feeling that she has some pretty funny things to say!

(BTW, I wrote most of this post yesterday but couldn't publish it because we are having issues with our laptop power cord--again!)

It's official...

After over 4 years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding a child, I am done.

Edith has been off the "mama milk" for a full week now.  She still cries and asks me to feed her (in jibberish), but I am so finished.

Dylan is on his half term break from school and I am trying to make sure we do something fun every day, just because we can.  On Monday we went to Doncaster and took the kids swimming at the Dome.  It's our favorite pool ever.  Then today, Christine and I took the kids to The Deep.  Tomorrow we will go to Normanby Hall if the weather is nice.  Thursday is currently free, but Friday is the Ward activity night and Saturday will probably be a visit to the 20/21 gallery in Scunthorpe and maybe the Pink Pig Farm.

I'm tired already!

Wordless Wednesday...

Wordless Wednesday...

Still a regular gym bunny...

Well, it's February and the eating habits/gym habit are still going strong.  Maybe now I'm not just a deluded New Years health fanatic and people can start taking my exercise regime seriously?

I can now run a mile in just 6 minutes 37 seconds. Not in real life, mind you.  Only on the cross trainer. But it sure beats my mandatory one-mile high school run time of about 9 minutes 54 seconds (I can't even begin to tell you how many times I faked an asthma attack to get out of that run.  I LOATHE running).  I'm pretty proud of that mile time, even if it is in an artificial environment and I am totally knackered afterwards.

I have increased my weight and reps on most of the machines I use, and have moved to free weights for my biceps and triceps.  My upper body is starting to look good, but it gets a little bit scary right around my belly button.  That will take more hard work and some surgery to correct.

I'm still waiting for that extra energy that supposedly comes from working out.  I'm still just tired.  But I feel happier. I'm still not happy with my body, but I'm satisfied that I'm doing something about it.

Random things on my mind

Must move the fruit basket to a higher place as Edith now knows how to peel oranges.

I can't believe Dylan let me cut his fingernails and toenails last night without kicking up a fuss.

Why are the keys on my laptop keyboard sticking again???

Haven't seen any snowdrops yet.  Odd.

Heehee, Amy noticed that Martin has gained weight.  On his waist.  And she called it "a lot of weight."

7 lbs. isn't that much...

Can't wait to get my hair done on Thursday.  Hope the stupid receptionist isn't there so I can ask Sarah if that girl has been given a job out of pity or what.

Ugh, church tomorrow.  Can't wait for toddler wrestling.

Wonder if they'll give me a new calling.

Last night's lasagna was so good.  Would have been even better if I'd had icecream afterwards.  Being "good" really sucks.

Glee is repeated on a Saturday night, and I've got it set to record now.  Whew, can't wait to watch it on Sunday night.

Oooh, and play Guitar Hero with Martin, too. 

I wish it was 7pm Sunday already!

Told Dylan we could go to the Deep today--wonder if I can get out of it or if he remembers??  Guess I should take them anyway.  Blast!

That laundry's not going to do itself.

Sure would be nice if I wasnt' the only person in the house who knew how to work the washing machine and dryer.

Dorothy and Danny Rushton are both on Facebook.  And Danny's MARRIED now!

It sure is hard to get out of bed in the mornings when all my last dreams seem to be about family members.  I just want to hang out with the fam in dreamland!

Time to go get my husband out of bed!

Growing up...

So yesterday Edith did something amazing.  For the first time she put two words together to form a simple sentence.  Want to hear what it was?

"Nanna's eyes."

Ok, so it was actually a fragment.  But still...

She calls glasses "eyes," so it only makes sense if you speak her little language, but it was still really exciting.  This is such a major language development milestone, and she is hitting it at about the same age that Dylan did.  So even though she doesn't know as many words and speak as well as he did at this age, she is developing at about the same pace. 

Did that make any sense?  I don't know--I'm so tired!

Regardless, I'm thrilled that she's developing normally and is getting so much better at talking.  And her singing, well, she's miles ahead of Dylan in that department.

Funny story, actually.  Last Sunday when we were singing the opening hymn in church, Edith climbed up onto the pew between me and Martin, pinched his hymnal, and started singing her heart out.  Heads were turning. 

She loves to sing, and she loves to do "grown-up" things.  She's not going to be my little baby for much longer.

That was totally "Wicked"...

So my birthday was pretty much amazing.  My saintly mother-in-law spent two days and one night at my house, playing guardian to my beautiful children, while Martin whisked me away to London.  We spent the night and saw Wicked at the ApolloVictoria theatre in the West End.  It was amazing--loved every second!

I got some very nice gifts--a new handbag, my favorite shade of lipstick, an adorable ring that Dylan picked out all by himself, and a pizza stone.  Oh, and did  mention that I got to go see Wicked in the West End?

So here I am, 32 years old.  Where has the time gone?  I feel absolutely ancient, but this damp and gray English climate means that I still don't have any wrinkles.  That's pretty good news, at least.  And my kids keep me young.

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes.  We've all settled back down to normalcy now, and it is strangely nice and comforting. I love going away, but I love coming home even more.  I missed the kids terribly while we were away, and was in heaven when we got back and Martin and I were practically smothered in cuddles and kisses.

In routine news, I have been released from my church calling teaching the youth.  I'm sad that I won't be teaching them any more, but am looking forward to a new calling soon.  Martin is working different hours now--a split shift every day but Saturday, when he's there all day long.  It's not any more hours at work, really.  Just different.  Edith is now picking up the pace with learning to speak and has a vocabulary of approximately 30 words.  She's not been as quick as Dylan at learning to talk, but she is a great communicator all the same.  Dylan has started drawing pictures for me while he's at school and is becoming a really good helper around the house.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and it's bath then bed over here.  Just wanted to do a quick update for the fam.

Nighty night!

Heartbreaking...

Apparently, there are some kids from church who don't like playing with Dylan.

A friend told me this the other day, and it's been bothering me ever since then.  She said that they don't like playing with him because he hits them. Admittedly, he DID go through a rather prolonged hitting phase. He's grown out of it now, but they haven't played together very much since then because of Martin's job and all of them being in school now.  So the boys think that Dylan still hits a lot, I guess.

Anyway, when she told me this I had the most irrational response in the world.  I immediately jumped to the defense of my child, and though knowing that they don't like to play with him doesn't bother Dylan at all, I got all hurt and offended for him. I had to stop myself from mentioning all the things that are "wrong" with her children, even though I actually think they are really good kids.  In fact, that is probably why this bothers me so much.

I pride myself on being rational (most of the time), so you can imagine my surprise when I reacted this way.  I guess it's just more proof that having kids makes me crazy.

I just want everyone in the world to think my child is perfect and see how wonderful he is.  If I'm honest with myself, I can see his flaws and faults.  In fact, I'm perfectly willing to discuss them with Martin.  We know he's high maintenance.  He likes attention.  He's demanding and bossy.  But to hear someone else mention his negative qualities and suggest he wasn't an angel really hurt me.

So stupid!

I just need to get over it. 

And I will.

Best girlie day ever!

Yesterday was my friend Noelle's "hen do."  She is getting married in just 4 weeks, and I am so excited for her and her fiance, Richard.  They are such nice people, and such a great couple.  Since Noelle is Mormon (just like me)she doesn't drink and didn't want a boozy night out on the town.  So she organized her own hen day and we went to Harrogate to the Turkish baths and then to Betty's for tea.

Can I just say that the baths were frickin' AMAZING?!  Totally Google harrogate turkish baths and look at their website.  We showered, steamed, went in the plunge pool (which was truly icy) and then into a series of hot rooms.  There were 10 of us in our party at the baths, and we all got sweaty and purified our skin together while we shared a good gossip.  Then the gossip continued at Betty's where we were joined by 4 more women.  Very civilized and posh!

There was only one downside, and it was that I got home so much later than anticipated--about 2 hours later.  But Martin was home, and I kept him updated (with Emma's phone, since I left mine home.  Thanks, Emma!) and he was pretty cool with it.  I missed bed time, which made me kind of sad.  But not enough so to ruin my euphoria.

Seriously, mom you need to come over for another visit so we can go to the baths in Harrogate.  I think you'd really enjoy them!  Or any of my friends or sisters, as well.  Really good time, and I'd like to share it with everyone I know.

von Willebrand's...

Lightening quick update in which I will make a long story short:

Neither Martin nor I have von Willebrand's disease.  Dylan's condition wasn't passed down by either one of us--it just happened all on it's own.  Not common, but notthat unusual.

Either that or Martin isn't really his father.

You decide.

: )

Weird...

I had my induction at the gym last night, and it was enlightening.

First of all, I don't think the fitness instructor really believed me when I said I used to work out all the time, until we got to the machines and she was making sure I knew how to use all of them.  Then, she told me that my technique was perfect.  Ha--told you so!

I have a very quick program on weights to do, and I flew through it after the induction so that I could get home in time for dinner. I figured out my own weight limits on all the machines, and it was really interesting. I haven't worked out in a gym for about 5 years now, butI still remember what I was lifting before.  My cardiovascular fitness is pretty pants.  I managed about 5 minutes on the cross-trainer and 3 minutes rowing, and I was shattered.  I'll have to work my way up on those machines.  My core strength is pretty good, even after two kids and not enough crunches.  My lower body is still pretty strong.  Seriously, I was pleasantly surprised. But my upper body--woah!  Bicep curls were pathetic!  I kept having to decrease my weight, and felt like a total weakling.  So when I moved to triceps, I started at the same weight.  But, strangely enough, my triceps are really quite strong.  I guess it must have something to do with the way I pick up and carry the kids.

The strangest thing is how much I enjoyed being at the gym.  I used to go 5 times a week when I was in college, and I went quite a bit when I lived in Cedar City and worked out 3 times a week when we lived in Grimsby.  It never felt like anything but hard work. But I've missed being nicely sore, and I've missed the body that results from lots of work at the gym.  Last night at the gym was a real pleasure though, and I think it's because I was there doing something for myself.

I spend all of my time taking care of my children and my family.  I take care of all their physical needs, and once the kids are in bed I am on my own and spend that time taking care of the house.  Everybody is cared for, except for me.  It's past time that I started taking care of myself as well.  And going to the gym to work out is totally self-indulgent.  It benefits nobody but me--totally selfish, but in a good way.  It gives me 45 minutes to an hour with no kids and nobody to think about but myself.  It's a treat, because it's "me time."  I could seriously become a gym junkie again!

On a completely unrelated note:

Yesterday, when we were picking Dylan up from school, I was thinking about when Edith first started walking.  She was desperate to walk everywhere, because she had been watching Dylan run around for ages.  The first time she walked up to Stables to see Martin, she was so excited!  Dylan has a wall that he balances on and stairs and a ramp he walks up (and down) every time we go, and Edith was squealing with excitement the first time she got to go up those stairs.  She is always so anxious to do the things that Dylan does.  I have a feeling that it could pose a problem later in life.  She seems to be in a real hurry to grow up.  But it's so adorable right now!

Success...or at leastthe startof it!

In regards to my non-resolution this year, I have drastically changed my diet (but in a nice and manageable way) and have exercised every day for the last week.  At least 30 minutes of cardio every night and, for the past few days, a pretty gruelling 20 minutes on my exercise ball.  Result?  A loss of, giveor take a few ounces, 2 lbs.

That's pretty good for 1 week. Of course, the real challenge is sustainability.  Is my will to get healthy strong enough to overcome my desire for a night parked out on the sofa eating crisps and drinking non-diet Dr. Pepper?

I've joined the gym, so hopefully that will help.  I'll be exercising in the morning, which is something I've never done before, because that's when Martin is home and can watch the kids.  There are a few classes I'm interested in, but I think I'll mostly be doing elliptical machine and free weights for my upper body.  Lower body is covered with my home workout of step aerobics and gym ball.

I'm chasing the burn, and have caught it.  You only know it's working if you're in pain, right?  But it's good pain--muscle soreness that only comes from a good workout.  Tightness that is temporary because of overworked muscles, but could become permanent if I work hard enough.

So here's to having better muscle tone and less baby-belly fat.

Oh, and the kids and Martin are doing fine.  Martin really enjoyed sitting on the sofa eating chocolate cream cake and stollen, drinking his Dr. Pepper, checking his e-mails, and watching me work out last night.  Stables is closed for  refurbishment and he's going to have some extra days off because of it.  But yesterday he went golfing and tonight he's going out with the people from work for their belated Christmas party.  I'm still not going to be seeing him!  But he'll be here for the kids' bath and bed time tonight, and we'll have a few nights together after that. 

Dylan keeps saying the most adorable things, like the other night when we dessert.  He said, "I love bananas and custard.  They are really special to me."  He started "big boy" Primary at the new year, and is doing really well.  He comes home and tells us the stuff that he's learned, and it always makes me smile. I'm so proud of my smart little man!

And Edith, well, it looks like she is finally growing out of some of her clothes.  She's not getting any bigger around the middle, of course.  Just taller.  She's going to be built a lot like her daddy, lucky girl!  She's a very girly girl, and loves doing her hair and make-up.  We moisturize our faces together every morning and she loves wearing perfume.  She has also started taking a real interest in drawing, which is something Dylan never did.  She has been coloring on everything, including my walls.

Well, time to wake Martin up.  I hope you all have a good day.  I'm sure I will.  Healthy food, brisk walking (to CV Day Spas for a free blow dry, to take Dylan to school and pick him up again), Martin's company, Edith's 2 hour nap, and lashings of peppermint tea.

My little pixie...

I took Edith to Frenchy's to get her hair cut today.

She sat up on the kids' booster chair like a little princess.

She watched Sara cut her hair in the mirror, and didn't make a peep.

And here is the finished result.  She has very short bangs and the back of her hair has been tidied up.  It actually curls a little bit more now, and she looks so beautiful.

I am looking forward to many happy hours spent together at the beauty salon with my baby girl.

And, by golly, isn't she a stunner?

That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...

This evening I used Wii Fit for the first time in, gulp, 73 days!

Let me just say, I did the workout before I did the body test.  I even considered working out every night and going on an all-liquids diet for a week before doing the body test.  But I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and weighed myself.

I have gained 3 lbs. over Christmas with no exercising.

I know, weight gain is never a good thing.  But still, I thought it would be so much worse than that.  And I have totally re-committed to a healthy lifestyle.  Swimming yesterday, aerobics tonight, and all home cooked meals with loads of fresh steamed veggies.  I'm going to be better.

I wouldn't exactly call this a new year's resolution.  Just a decision.

Scaredy cat...

I remember being afraid of absolutely everything when I was a little girl.  My mom would tell us horror stories about children disappearing and never being seen again--not even their bodies (obviously, a lesson not to go anywhere on our own if we could help it).  She told us about people drowning and their bodies finally floating to the surface of the lake/river/ocean, but only AFTER the fish had eaten their eyes out (obviously, this one was accompanied by a reminder to wear a life jacket).  You know--things like that.  I spent years looking over my shoulder if I was walking alone at night and freaking out if my feet touched anything other than a totally flat surface underwater, convinced that I was going to be kidnapped or drown because I got tangled in some underwater foliage.

It's probably a good thing my mom did that to us.  Seriously, I have 4 sisters and one brother, and she could never have kept an eye on all of us at once when we went places as a family.  I have to wonder, do my siblings share the same fears?  At any rate, we all survived a pretty chaotic childhood.

I'm only mentioning it because my daughter is absolutely fearless!

We took the kids to the Doncaster Dome today (google it--it's cool and I can't be bothered to put in a link) to go swimming.  It is an amazing facility.  There are water slides and fountains and hot tubs all over the place, with little nooks and crannies to hide in and shelves to sit on.  We had so much fun!  And Edith was, quite literally, squealing with excitement.  She was climbing up on the little islands in the middle of the pool and just launching herself off them into our arms.  She went down the slides on her own, and didn't even look to make sure we were waiting to catch her first.  It was quite terrifying as a parent.

I'm starting to wonder if I should try to drum some fear into her!

Martin is back at work tomorrow and Dylan is back at school later this week.  I wish we could all just hang out together and do fun things every day.  This makes me pretty excited for the next school holidays.

The only downside to the day (well, the weekend, really) is that Martin kept having to sort out work stuff.  Strangely enough, everybody called in sick on the bank holiday weekend.  Suspicious much?  So even though he was supposed to have 3 days off, he ended up spending quite a lot of time covering the "sick" employees and stressing about work cover.  Honestly, people!  Do you NOT realize that he has a life outside of work and that his family might want him around and paying attention to them, not on the phone with employees?

I am very jealous of the time the kids and I have to spend with Martin.  And fiercely protective of it.

Rant completed.

Good night!