Lucky thirteen!

Thirteen years ago yesterday, I was lucky enough to marry the coolest guy I knew. And guess what--he is still the coolest guy I know.

Seriously, I am still so madly in love with my husband. He's gorgeous, hard working, talented, caring, affectionate, creative, kind, intelligent, and very generous. He even thinks he's funny!

I never could have imagined all those years ago how I feel about him now. I thought I loved him then, but I have discovered a depth of feeling I never knew I was capable of. Martin has helped me learn and grow as a person. He has helped me become more patient and loving. He has given me children. He has supported us all. He has continued to love me through some very tough times. I am truly blessed to be called Mrs. Gilbert!

My dad insisted he was only marrying me for the green card. Martin and I still laugh about that. Thirteen years is a long time to work for an immigrant visa!

Sadly, we didn't get to see much of each other yesterday. My boss is in Tunisia so I am working four days this week instead of my usual two. But we did go out on a date on Saturday night. The kids had a sleepover with their Nanna, and we watched "The Giver" and ate delicious Turkish food (oh, I forgot to mention that Martin has expanded my culinary horizons!). The best part of our anniversary date is that we never ran out of things to talk about. And we hardly talked about the kids at all.

Ever watch Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"? There is a scene where a middle aged couple is having dinner in an authentic Medieval dungeon and they order a conversation. Watch the video above...

Luckily, our conversations don't go like that.

Yet!

Anyway, I love you Martin, Here's to another thirteen years...

Dear Martin,

Dear Martin,

I hope you're having a good time on your mountain biking holiday in Turkey. I just thought I'd write you this letter to let you know how things are going at home.

The kids and I are basically just sticking to our normal routine. We are doing school runs, swimming lessons, baths, shopping, housework, etc. In addition to that, I have been doing a little bit of DIY, going to book club, and squeezing in some work during school times (my boss, Elaine, has been so wonderfully accommodating).

The bed that you made is fully finished now. I stained it, then waxed the wood. It's a beautiful oak colour. I also managed to finally hang the bed curtains properly. I think you'll be pleased with the effect.

Dylan and Edith have started a new reading competition with school, this one lasting until the half term break. It's only 4 weeks away now. They have both read every single night, as they want the reward. This time, it will be a trip to the "ice-cream parlour" that the school will be setting up. Last night, Edith even read her scripture in the Book of Mormon with no help from me whatsoever. We are really very lucky that they both love to read!

Things have been quiet around the house. I've been very organized in the mornings and we have actually been ready to walk out the door BEFORE the alarm's gone on my phone every day this week. Dylan was a little bit concerned at first that I wouldn't remember to do their pack-ups, but he's confident now that I will make his lunch!

I've been going to bed early--never later than 10:30 all week long--and getting up earlier, too. The house is staying cleaner than it normally does. Things are running more smoothly since you left for Manchester airport on Tuesday morning. No shoes left lying all over the house, no dirty dishes in the sink every morning. No bread crumbs left on the counter, or cupboards being left open. No giant piles of laundry on top of the laundry hamper rather than in it.

I hate it!

I miss having you home to make packed lunches. I miss your noise and your mess and your serious lack of punctuality. I miss you waking me up when you get home from work. I even miss leaving that plate of dinner on the side for you. Every single meal I've cooked this week has had an extra portion left over!

I really missed you on Wednesday, when we would have normally had the day off together. I've come to count on those days with you, when it can just be the two of us, no kids, for a few hours. You help keep me sane and happy and healthy.

So yes, I hope you are having a great time with the lads. But I hope the next four days pass quickly. Because even after all these years, you are still the person I most want to see every day. Going a full week without seeing your best friend is tough!

All my love,

Jamie

Christmas day pictures...

Martin on Christmas day...

Me on Christmas day (that's my foot! It's the only part of me that made it into any photos that day.)

Rescue...

I am once more medicated and calm.

How sad, that it took a return to (totally legal) drugs to get that way, but it's still a relief.

My therapist says I shouldn't feel guilty about taking medication for depression. She says it's no different than taking antibiotics for a chest infection. It's just that the symptoms aren't as visible. And I see the logic-I really do. But the social stigma of being a "Prozac Mommy" is still there, and a big part of me feels that my inability to get out of bed in the morning and function normally is a personal weakness, not an illness.

I'm sure we'll work on that as part of my CBT.

Had a really good session this week, which will be discussed in detail on my other blog.

(Incidentally, it's a shame that it's private, because I feel like some of my best writing goes on over there and this blog is suffering as a result. Martin could tell me if that's true, as he reads the other one. Well, baby?)

I just wanted to talk about one aspect of the session, which was all about significant people in my life and how they've affected me.

Top of the list is my wonderful husband, Martin.

I still find it funny that my family didn't approve of Martin at first. They were so upset that I was marrying outside of our faith, but I don't think they really understand how much they owe that man!

My life before I met Martin was a shambles. I was all over the place spiritually. I was totally messed up emotionally and sexually. I was engaging in all sorts of risky behavior with completely sociopathic people. My friends were the party animals, doing Class A drugs before going out and engaging in all manner of debauchery. I partied with them, and I thought I was happy.

Then I started talking to this beautiful English boy at a bonfire one night--a three day rave thrown out in the National Forest by an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was gorgeous, and he was intelligent and passionate about music. And I was definitely interested. I gave him a ride home that night, and discovered that he was also fairly responsible--he left early because he had to be at work the next morning.

When we were formally introduced a few days later by a mutual friend, I liked him even more. When he stood me up for our first date, I liked him slightly less. But when he made it up to me by cooking me dinner and doing the dishes afterwards, I was in deep smit.

I knew on our second date that I could happily spend the rest of my life with Martin. We just clicked, and became practically inseperable. And because he was only 20 and couldn't go out to my usual stomping grounds, we stayed in. I stopped hanging out with my reprobate friends in bars. I started watching movies and cooking dinners with my boyfriend. We went shopping and to the cinema. We went for long drives out in the forest. Basically, we had a normal relationship. And I discovered, through Martin, that I was actually happier living that kind of lifestyle, though I'd actively scorned it for years. From day one we were like an old married couple, and it was sweet and wonderful. It was comfortable and comforting. It was also blissful and exciting.

We only spent six weeks together, and those six weeks were the happiest ones of my life--at least up until then. When it was time for him to go back to England, we nearly drove to Vegas and got married instead of to the airport in Phoenix. Believe me, I wanted to.

I drove home after we said our goodbyes, and I cried most of the way. I tried to go out with my old friends that night, but it wasn't the same. In fact, I tried to go out with them almost every night for the next month. But it wasn't fun any more. Id had a taste of another kind of life, a life that I hadn't dared to dream of since I was 17 years old, and I wanted more.

So I bought a phone card, applied for my first passport, and got a plane ticket to England. And the rest is history.

I told all of this to Deborah, including the fact that even after 11 years of marriage there is still no-one else on earth I'd rather be with, and she smiled. Then she said something to me that really summed it all up:

"I guess you could say that he saved you."

And that, in a nut shell, is it. Martin saved me. He saved me from the path of self-distruction that I was on. He brought me back from the brink of personal disaster. He planted my feet firmly on the path of happiness and stability. He rescued me from myself, and brought me back to myself at the same time. I guess that's why I love him so much, and why I always will. Because he loved me enough for both of us until I could love myself again.

I am so blessed to have Martin in my life. He is so beautiful, inside and out. Never have I known such a naturally kind and giving person, and he is my husband and the father of my children! How did I get so lucky?

A Comfort...

Every once in a while I really enjoy seeing evidence that I am not, in fact, married to Dorian Gray.

That was all.

Llandeilo

So here we are, ten years together and still smiling (or is that a grimace!?) either way, still having fun!

Norfolk, day two part one...

When we woke up the next morning (at 6am, thanks to Master Dylan John) the tide was in.  We made breakfast (corned beef hash), got cleaned up (Edith hates showers--did I mention that?), and walked in to Wells-Next-The Sea (did you like the Oxford comma, Krys?)  Check out my daughter's wicked-long legs!

Enlarge this photo for a fab view of the quayside in the village.

Too bad the pirate ship was closed until 11:30am, or we could have had crepes there...

Norfolk is famous for crabs--luckily, the kind you eat.  We watched half the county catching them on the quayside, and the kids were fascinated!  They also had these very groovy purpose-built nets...

We all rode the light railway back to the campsite--it was the highlight of the day for Dylan.  So far...

Norfolk, day one...

Stopping off for lunch, somewhere near Boston--that's Lincs, not Mass.

Edith was a little bit miffed that Dad and Dylan stole Miffy for cuddles.

Setting up the tent was tough--it was borrowed and we'd never seen what it was supposed to look like.  Plus, it was super windy.  But the kids (and half the campground) had a good laugh, and we got it done.  Eventually.

The kids' section of the tent.  This is the longest that Edith spent on her air mattress.  So where did she sleep, I hear you asking?

In here, with me and Martin, on our tiny double airbed.  NIGHTMARE.

But at least we didn't get cold!

Sutton-on-Sea...

A walk in the mist...

Number 1 Dad...

Ok, so maybe not in this picture.  Sleeping on the job isn't generally considered to be a good thing!

Awww, how cute!

Squished, but happy all the same.

Focused, aren't they?

Dad is imparting vital knowledge--how to play Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii.

Getting ready to do some baking...

Waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven.

My children love spending time with their daddy, and he loves them!  What a lucky couple of kids.  And what a lucky woman I am.

Morning...

For my mother, who has been asking me to post the pictures that I took of her visit.  Maybe this isn't what you had in mind?  Dylan is a great photographer, isn't he?

At the beach...

Wow, are we white or what?

I convinced Martin to do a little bit of wading.  And, miracle or miracles, the North Sea was WARM!

The beach at Cleethorpes is lovely when the tide is in.

Such a lovely time--a few hours with no kids on a bright, sunny day.

Dining adventures...

Congratulate us...

No, we are NOT expecting another baby!

For the first time in what seems like ages, I have good news to blog about.  Martin is about to make a phone call and accept the job that was offered to him this morning.  He will be starting it in two weeks' time.  I am so proud of my husband!

Why I have the best husband in the whole world...

Martin gives the kids their bath every night--unless he is working, of course.  He's done it since Dylan was a baby, and it gives him a chance to bond with the kids and me a chance to get the kitchen cleaned up from dinner without worrying about kids being underfoot.  It's a great arrangement for everybody.  And just look what a great job he does of it...

Dylan is always the first one to get undressed for bath time.

Then Martin starts to get Edith all ready for her bath.

Sometimes he gets a little bit of "help" from Dylan.

Both kids get a bit of practice on the potty...

...and one of the kids, or sometimes both of them, usually tries to make a break for it.

But eventually the bath is started.  And my husband is the most amazing daddy in the whole world!  Every day I feel blessed and awed to have him in my life. 

Thanks for being you, Martin!

Pictures...

Martin and I disagree about what "matches" when it comes to the kids' clothes. You can always tell when he dresses them! This outfit actually looks pretty good in the photo but it didn't look quite so nice in person. But hey, when you look this cute your outfit doesn't need to match.


Look how long Edith's hair is getting! She enjoys a little cuddle with Tim, the toy her aunt Cathy bought for her. Don't let her serious expression fool you--she actually smiles almost all the time.


She looks so lovely in red, and is sitting up on her own very well now.


Dylan is flexing his muscles. Super strong!


Martin is dreaming about his great escape.

A very rare night out...

Such a lovely photo of Emma--she just looks so happy!


Lewis--looking like an alcoholic!


Martin likes the nightlife--he likes to boogie!


Flirtatious...


We love dressing up at our house!