A family emergency of sorts...

Last Thursday, my Grandpa Cook took a tumble. It doesn't seem like such a big deal until you realize that he is nearly 90. And the way he fell was bad. He cut his arm open, and bashed his head against the kitchen counter. My dad and Jace got him up and bandaged his arm. Then he started complaining about pain in his neck. One trip to the emergency room later and the doctor discovered he had broken the top vertebrae of his spine. They thought he would be able to have surgery to fix the break, but it turns out that surgery won't work. His bones are too brittle. So he is in the hospital in Nephi, and going to have to learn to maneuver around with a neck brace. He's in a lot of pain, but he is doing ok. My parents are exhausted, as they have been running back and forth between Nephi and Salt Lake City since Thursday. Jace has been a trooper as well, spending nights with Grandpa in the hospital.

It's been a hard weekend for everyone, but there is a silver lining. I was able to spend some time with grandpa in the emergency room, while he waited to be transported to a hospital in SLC. And I will be able to visit him some more while he is in the hospital here in town.

As I sat next to grandpa and held his hand, I felt so grateful. For years, I have missed every major family event. The weddings were difficult to miss, but the funeral was the worst. Being so far away when my Nana was dying has always filled me with the deepest regret. Krystle skyped me for the funeral, but it wasn't the same. So being able to hold my grandpa's hand was like a gift. And I remembered why I wanted to move back here in the first place.

I also got to spend some quality time with my dad. I don't know how or why, but things seem better between us now. And that feels like a gift as well.

In other news, my super diligent mom found us some free mattresses on KSL classifieds. We are so close to being able to move in. Martin is leveling the floor in the kids' room as I type, and our bed is set up in the front room. Bathroom tile is arriving on Friday, and once the tile is laid, we will have a working bathroom. A working kitchen and bathroom, plus beds for us all. Those were my only stipulations for moving in. We are nearly there.

I'm pretty excited to be in our own home again. But I'm also nervous about moving into a building site. We'll see how it goes I guess. I mean, we have been practically living here for a while now. We do most of our cooking here, and spend most of our waking hours here as well. But it's another change. I don't really do change very well. And my parents' house is super nice. Ours, less so. Not right now, anyway. But we will get there, and it will be great to be the queen bee of my home again!

Regrets...

Sometimes, it doesn't occur to me to let other people do things.

Not like I won't let Martin do the dishes or I won't let my mother-in-law take the kids for an afternoon. I LOVE it when those things happen. I mean other things, like letting Dylan do the vacuuming after tidying up the front room. I taught him how to vacuum a few months ago, but haven't asked him to do it for me since then. I asked him to last week, and he was so excited to help out!

But worse was last Thursday when Edith asked Amy if she wanted to say the prayer. I told her I would say it, and she asked why Amy couldn't. I explained that Amy, who goes to the Church of England, doesn't say prayers the same way we do. She looked at me and said, "Of course I do. I've always wondered why you wouldn't let me say prayers at your house."

Wow!

Guess what? She said the bed time prayer that night. And from now on, any time one of the kids asks her if she wants to say the prayer, I'll sure let her.

It really made me wonder how often we fail to let people do the things that they would love to do. How often do we exclude people by doing what we think is the "nice" thing to do?

Amy has been having dinner in our home once a week for nearly three years now. I've missed out on three years worth of chances to make her feel loved and welcome in our home by praying with us and for us. Talk about regrets! But I'll do better from this day forward. And I'll be thankful that I've learned this lesson. After all, better late than never. Right?

America trip part 2...

Bath time

Chillin' with Uncle Blaine

Dylan bonds with Grayie Vicious

Pulling faces for Auntie Krystle's iPad

Early days...

At Heathrow, watching the airplanes take off!

Angie's girls, in their English school dresses :)

Dead heading the roses

Grandma and Edith bond

Fun Day...

Surfing!



Icecream!



Sunning!

Almost like a day at the beach.

It's a big deal for me...

The Munday kids came over on Tuesday afternoon--all three of them. They stayed for dinner and their parents picked them up at about 6:30pm. Emma had a medical appointment and Lewis went with her.

I volunteered to have them over, and it was no problem having them here. If anything, it was easier with them here than it is when it's just my two at home. And I like those kids. They were well-behaved and had nice manners. Caitlin even helped with the dinner clean-up. I actually enjoyed having them here.

So what's the big deal? I don't really like other people's kids. Sometimes I don't even like my own that much. But Emma needed the help, and what else do you do when she's just introduced you to someone as her best friend, and you realize that she's your best friend, too?

Seriously, Emma is my best friend.

That sounds so junior high, doesn't it? Like we should make each other friendship bracelets and, like, totally go to the mall and get BFF necklaces from Claire's!

But I enjoy her company so much. She is unfailingly kind to others, but doesn't seem to mind my slightly nasty streak (too much). She is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I know she would do anything for me if I really needed some help. And I would do the same for her, because I love her like a sister and respect her as a person.

I don't make friends easily. Please see my post about being a social retard. But the friends that I do make--and manage to keep--are so important to me. So thanks, Emma. For being you, and for being my best friend.

Now get over here with your future sister-in-law so we can get our legs waxed together and gossip about boys while we watch "Twilight."

Love you, man!

Sutton-on-Sea...

With friends like these...

...who needs enemies. 

No clever puns or plays on words.  Just that.

I think I have a "frenemy," and I have been reminded over the last few days why I always preferred to have male friends.

This friend of mine always makes me feel like a bad person when I talk to her.  And it always has to be me who contacts her.  She humiliates me on public forums (like Facebook--not private messages, but on her Wall).  She told me that she'd seen my husband cheating on me. 

So why do we stay friends?  I really like hanging out with her.  She's fun, smart, witty, and intelligent.  Once upon a time, we were really good friends.

Or maybe I just don't want to admit that my initial judgment of her could have been so wrong.

I can't stand "girl games."  I've never been able to.  Even Martin was surprised by the way that I don't do passive-aggressive guilt tripping and barbed compliments.  For the longest time, he would assume that I was playing little mind games with him.  But I say what I mean, and I mean what I say--and I assume that other people do the same.  This is a good thing, but it's left me ill-equipped when it comes to dealing with people who DO like to play games. 

I don't understand why you'd even remain "friends," whether on Facebook or in real life, with someone you didn't like.  If she doesn't like me, she should just tell me so, un-friend me, and move on.  It would be an easy thing to delete her mobile number from my contacts.  I have a very busy (if somewhat dull) life and wouldn't miss the barbed compliments, accusations of nastiness, public humiliation, highlighting of character flaws, and lies about my husband's fidelity.

Why are women so horrible to other women?

On the flip side, I had a lovely couple of girlie hours with Emma today (so now you know it's not her)!  The kids went to Hall Farm with their grandparents, so Emma and I had a garra fish pedicure, shopped at the local charity shops, and got some lunch.  She reminded me of why it's nice to have girlfriends.  She is such a lovely person--a genuinely kind, caring woman who I really admire.

Obviously, though, I like my "frenemy" as well.  Otherwise, what she said wouldn't bother me.  Because, quite honestly, I don't give a toss what most people think of me.  Just the ones I care about.

Ugh.  The politics of friendship are so complicated.  It makes me just want to lock my door and only hang out with my children.  They are so simple and honest.  They don't have any ridiculous social filters yet, and they ALWAYS tell the truth.

Complicated...

I have a strange relationship with my two dads.

My mom and dad split up when I was just a baby.  Then my mom remarried an amazing man who already had two daughters of his own (I just started humming the Brady Bunch theme song).  They joined their families very successfully and then had two daughters together.  Later, in an attempt to diffuse the estrogen, they adopted a son.

I have called my stepfather "dad" since I was about 3 years old.  He raised me, and treated me like his own daughter.  I love him dearly, and always will.  Most of the time, it doesn't even occur to me that I'm not actually his!

And my father?  Well, we lost touch over the years.  I had a new family, we moved far away, and with each passing year it became more and more awkward that we hadn't seen each other.  He always sent me birthday and Christmas cards and gifts, and included his contact information.  He left it up to me, whether I would see him or not.  That's a big decision for a little girl, and it wasn't one I was capable of making until I was much older.

We finally met when I was 17.  It was really strange.  In the discussion about nature vs. nurture, I'll go 50/50 every time.  I hadn't seen this man since I was about 3 years old.  I was raised by someone else.  But not only did I look just like him, we ARE alike.  We share similar personalities and an almost identical sense of humor.  And when I met the rest of the family later that year, it was like I'd never been away.  I was so much LIKE these people.

So I have two dads--one who gave me life and one who made me who I am.  I am like both of them, and I love both of them. 

Dad, you were and are a wonderful father to me.  I love you so very much for taking on the very difficult challenge of raising a mixed family and doing it with such style, grace, and love.  For always making me feel that I was equal to your "real" children.

Daddy Doug, I'm glad that you're in my life now.  You give me a sense of who I am and have taught me so many lessons, both about you and about myself.  I see the way your life has gone in recent years and really admire the man you are.  I love you, too.

So, to my two dads, thanks for being the men that you are.  Between the two of you, I think I've turned out alright.  So far, at least. 

Let's reserve judgment until we see if I really screw up my own kids.

Happy belated father's day.

I love you!

Sardines...

The three musketeers in the back seat.  They had a good time, for the most part.

Look how much Edith loves her grandma!

Unfortunately, things went downhill.

The much anticipated popcorn party...

I could hear the two party-goers on the top floor from the ground floor, so I had to sneak up and take a few photos...

Dylan had SO MUCH FUN watching "Cars" with his grandma.  I could hear them laughing and screaming and talking about the movie from two floors down.

And there were lots of cuddles, too.  Sadly, Dylan would only sleep in his own bed.  But the party was still a success!

Hanging out at home and at Brigg Garden Centre...

Martin's birthday

Martin had a good time opening up his birthday presents.

I made him a kit kat barrel cake, and it was cute and yummy (thanks, Mango Mom)!

Cathy and John joined us.

So did Simon and Joanne (the neighbors).  Oh, and Marley.

We also had Jen and Howard and Laurie and Christine over.

The boys had a good time playing together, and Edith had a good time following them around.

It was a good day!

Perfection...

Steve and Gina tied the knot on Saturday.  The wedding was lovely, as was the bride.  Both of them looked so happy and in love.  What a wonderful day.

Even the weather cooperated!

Our family really enjoyed most of the day.

Seriously, other than the meal after the wedding ceremony the day was perfection.  The food was great--our children were a little less than great.  But we dropped them off at their grandparents' house for the night and went back to the reception/party.  By far my favorite part of the weekend was meeting some of Martin's old friends from school and from the Sutton Beach Mission he attended as a teenager. They are some of the nicest people I've met in a long time, and I hope we see more of them!  We had a great time, then came home at about 10pm, got a chicken kebab, and watched Lost. 

This morning we got to sleep in until 8am, and Martin and I enjoyed some alone time.  We went to pick the kids up at 1pm, and has the most delightful summer afternoon ever.  The kids helped us wash the car.  We had home-made ice lollies.  We played in the back garden.  Edith practiced her walking (she's getting REALLY good at it).  We came home, had a light dinner, and Martin gave the kids their bath.  We tucked them in, then I went to Worlaby and gave two back massages (To pay for my hair color--see above picture.  Pretty, isn't it?). 

Now it's home and snuggles with my wonderful husband.  And I have had the most perfect day ever.  I haven't had this good a day in such a long time.  I even had one of those rare moments when life seemed absolutely perfect, and I haven't had one of those for several years.

Life doesn't get much better than today!

How did I know?

How did I know that Jen and I would be BFF?  Well, it was because one day when we went shopping in Grimsby she bought me some fake hair.  I knew at that moment that we would be friends for life.

I haven't seen Jen in ages, and she came over yesterday and spent the afternoon with me and the kids.  We just chilled out, had drinks together, took the kids to the park, and then had nibbles at Stables (I love it when Martin waits on me).  It was totally relaxed and informal and a lot of fun, and I wish we could do it more often.  Unfortunately, she is one of the busiest people I know.  I had to book our afternoon of just hanging out and relaxing together a full week in advance!

Busy morning, so I need to get to it.  I just wanted to say that Jen is amazing.  So are all my friends, new and old.  I am not too selective when it comes to casual friends, but when it comes to my best mates, I am one of the pickiest people I know.  So if I count you as a real friend, you must be pretty amazing.

Fireman Steve...

Martin's best man at our wedding was Steve, who is a fireman in Grimsby.  Martin was speaking to him last night, and I asked if we could bring Dylan in to look at the fire engines today.  Steve said yes, so we all went in.  Dylan was kind of sleepy and more than a little bit awe-struck.  He got to sit in the fire engine, look around the station, try on a helmet, and go for a RIDE!

Martin had a good time, as well.

Thanks, Fireman Steve.  We had a great time!

Gilbert family get-together...

My girls...

I have never made friends easily.  I guess it's because it's not in my nature to trust people.  I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and like to assume that people are decent until they prove otherwise, but I don't open up that often.  As a result, I don't have many close friends.

As I entered my teens, I pretty much stopped having female friends all together.  I couldn't bring myself to like the cookie cutter Mormon girls I went to school and church with, and my parents couldn't approve of any other kind.  They did their best to make sure I didn't have any "bad influences" in my life, and that pretty much meant that I didn't have any friends.  I did have some guy friends, but it's not really the same.

I have formed a few bonds since then--with my lovely college roomies Amber and Krista, with my girl Becca, with my friend Michelle.  These friendships have been few and far between, but all the more treasured for it!

So imagine my surprise when, on reflecting about friendship, I discovered that I have two "best friends" here in England!

Emma and Jen, you always have my back.  If I had to, I could drop in at a moment's notice (or with  no notice at all if I was really desperate).  You help me with my kids, let me whinge about my husband, do fun things with me, share meals and trips to the park and swimming pool, and most of all, just let me be me.

I struggle in England.  I have never felt like I fit in here, and probably never will.  Americans and Brits are totally different.  Don't let the fact that we both speak English fool you--we are not the same at all!  I try to keep my head down and blend, but with my best friends, I don't need to do that.  You make life over here more than just bearable.  You make it enjoyable.

Thanks for the estrogen (or oestrogen, for you two!) influence.  A girl needs a couple of good friends, and I'm glad you are in my life!

A very rare night out...

Such a lovely photo of Emma--she just looks so happy!


Lewis--looking like an alcoholic!


Martin likes the nightlife--he likes to boogie!


Flirtatious...


We love dressing up at our house!