Did we leave it too late?

I was thinking in the shower today, as I am wont to do do, and I realized that moving to Utah could be a bigger wrench for Dylan than I'd initially thought it would be.

He is football mad now, in a way that he never was before. And he has all of his neighbourhood friends that he plays out with. He's established himself in school as one of the "brainy" ones. He is comfortable with his life as it is. And we are going to take him to the U.S., where Premiership football might as well not exist. His love of Match Attax cards will go unfulfilled and he will know loads about a sporting league that, for all intents and purposes, most people in Utah don't even know exists. He will have to make new friends, and learn new things to talk about and new ways of playing. Oh wow--what am I about to do to my son? Is he going to be ok?

We wanted to leave here 6 years ago. When he was three, a move wouldn't have been a big deal at all. But now, well, it's a very big deal. And though he is excited about it, it's little wonder that he is also anxious. He is constantly asking little "When we move to America" questions. Poor kid!

Does moving back to Utah make me the most selfish beast of a parent in the world?

A shift...

I have spent years being the most important person in the lives of my children. They love their dad, don't get me wrong. But he worked a lot, and I was on the front lines as the full time mother and housewife. They came to me for food, drinks, clothes, shoes, cuddles, you name it. And now I can feel that need changing. They are becoming more and more independent, and I am becoming a peripheral figure in their lives. Especially Dylan's, now that he is a very grown-up eight year old.

I never thought it would bother me. Truth be told, in many ways it doesn't. I love that they can do most things for themselves now. It's incredibly freeing! But it does make me slightly sad that I will never be the focal point in their little lives again. From here on out it will be friends, then girlfriends and boyfriends, then spouses, and then children (hopefully in that order!).

Life is kind of like the weather in England--if you don't like it, just wait five minutes.