Friday, November 25, 2016

Baby milestones...a previously unpublished draft!

Edith woke up last week and decided that she was all about the solid food. She's gone from one "solid" meal a day to three, and I'm considering adding a few little snacks as well. She's sitting up and really taking an interest in toys now, and she's also started putting everything in her mouth. It's as if she turned into a baby instead of a newborn over night.

I love these milestones. There is nothing more fascinating than watching a helpless new baby develop ever so slowly into an independent child. I'd imagine watching them become an adult is fascinating (and frightening) as well.

Dylan slept at his nanna's house on Sunday night, and it was GREAT! Especially because Edith slept through the night and we were able to go back to sleep on Monday morning until nearly half past eight. But it was so quiet without Dylan there. Bath time was very quiet, and story and prayer time was near enough silent. It was strange, because Dylan hasn't even been talking properly for a year now, but we are so used to him talking that it's hard to imagine a time when he didn't speak.

I am pretty excited for Edith to start talking. Obviously she is babbling like crazy now, and has started experimenting with different sounds. She has such a sweet little voice--already deeper than Dylan's so I think she will have a low, husky voice when she grows up.

I'm also absurdly excited for Edith's hair to be long enough for me to style it.

This having kids thing is pretty crazy. Being a stay at home mom isn't my idea of a good time, really. It's hard work nearly all the time, and that work goes largely unacknowledged and unappreciated. But being home with my two beautiful children is still rewarding, and I am still happy. Most of the time, anyway.

Our family's "staycation" was fun, and just what I needed to shake me out of my self-pitying funk. We had such fun hanging out as a family, going shopping, visiting family and friends, going swimming, and just being together. Next days off--Christmas. But Martin had a chat with the Place owner about having two days off in a row once a month, and that is really good, too.

And now for something completely different!

Edith had her ballet show last weekend. Three performances, at three hours long each! She's been doing dancing lessons for over a year, but this was her first show. She loved it!

I've a new respect for my parents--they went to every dance recital for their 5 girls. That is some next level parenting, right there. Because even though I enjoyed watching my baby girl dance, that show was BORING! The older girls were quite good. A few of them were exceptional, and they had been given plenty of dancing solos. But most of it was just a whole lot of mediocrity.

Edith was one of the quite good ones, obviously. And I am a very honest parent in print. I would have told her I was proud of her and admired how she tried hard regardless of her performance, and then rolled my eyes behind her back and quietly encouraged her to try other things. But she is a very good dancer! She has a great sense of rhythm and is incredibly graceful and light on her feet.

Her class did two numbers. They danced to "In Summer" from "Frozen," and wore adorable snowman costumes with top hats and canes. And then they did this "Wiggle" number. She was dressed in emerald green sequins, and even without them she would have sparkled. Seriously, adorable. Except on the first night, when she seemed to spend a fair amount of time with her finger up her nose. She and her friend Connie also helped with the younger girls' dance numbers, so she got to wear a cheerleader-esque costume and a beautiful baby blue tutu. She just melted my heart.

Remember what a homely little baby she was? I knew she would be beautiful when she got older! Her daddy's going to need to get a shotgun. Good thing we'll be back in 'Merica!

It's strange to take the back seat. To be the one in the audience while your child performs. Strange, but nice. I love to see my children do well. Parenthood brings up all sorts of weird emotions. Even though I've been a mother for over 9 years now, it sometimes feels so fresh and new to me. Maybe because I am just making it up as I go along!

Incidentally, photography was not allowed. Sorry mom, no pictures. Just take my word for it--she was beautiful. Completely radiant, from the inside out. I think my mother-in-law will share her copy of the DVD though...

On being the right kind of immigrant...

I tried to not get political in 2016, mostly because my family lean heavily Republican and I tip slightly the other way. And as for British politics, well, I'm not a citizen and have been fairly careful in my opinions because I am on outsider. But something's got me thinking this morning, and opinions long held in are springing to the surface.

Blame NPR for this one. More specifically, "This American Life." Damn you, Ira Glass!!! It was the post election show, titled, "The Sun Comes Up," which I listened to via podcast. And they were talking about the election result and the impact it would have on immigration. They interviewed immigration lawyers and also a family of Brits living in the U.S. And I got slightly terrified (side bar--is it possible to be only SLIGHTLY terrified?).

Brexit freaked me out, as well. An entire country, which I have happily called home for over a decade, basically decided that they hated immigrants and wanted to cut themselves off from Europe as a result. When I woke up on the morning after the referendum and found out how the country had voted, my heart sank. I felt unwelcome here for the first time since I arrived. One of my friends commented on Facebook that she (also an immigrant) felt the same way, and one of the responses to that comment was that she wasn't THAT kind of immigrant. You know, one of the bad ones. She was the RIGHT kind of immigrant.

Apparently, I am also the "right" kind of immigrant. And the weird thing is, we are also the "right" kind of white person (oh yes, in England that is definitely a thing)! I'm not eastern European. Because my Polish ancestors immigrated to America 200 years ago, I am saved from being one of the "bad" immigrants. Seriously, the whole concept is horrible to me.

What exactly makes someone the "right" kind of immigrant? In this case, my friend is Canadian and a native English speaker. She is married to a nice Englishman, and they have two lovely kids who are 100% Yorkshire. She's even become a British citizen now. But she came here on a work visa, with a good education, a job offer, and nothing else. She wasn't particularly desirable as an immigrant then, but she is now. You don't know if someone is going to be an asset to your country until they are!

And now, this immigrant is attempting to take her very English husband and drop him back into a country that has just declared an unofficial war on immigrants. And, once again, we are dealing with the fact that he is also the "right" kind of immigrant. He is a white native English speaker with an American wife.

I didn't ask anyone in my family who they were voting for. Mostly because I was afraid of what the answer might be. But I hope they didn't vote for the man who vowed to stop immigration. Illegal immigration, yes. But also legal immigration for the "bad" immigrants.

When you look like everyone else, and you don't sound TOO different, people tend to forget that you are an outsider. But, speaking as one who has been an outsider for the past eleven years, you never forget. And people say horrible things, like immigration reform is top priority, like we need to stop letting people in to our country, like even the people who come here legally aren't really welcome. And it hurts. I only hope that nobody in my family believes those things--on either side of the pond!

Immigration policy is totally up in the air right now. With Donald Trump on the cusp of his presidency and a Republican controlled House and Senate, I am honestly worried that Martin won't get his green card. We are still waiting for an appointment from the U.S. Embassy. What if they are holding off until Trump is sworn in, to see what changes will be made? And even if everything goes to plan, is it ok for me to bring my children, with their very foreign accents, to live in a country where over 50% of the people decided they don't want outsiders being let in? Or will they be fine, since they are the "right" kind of immigrants?

But we ARE still coming, regardless of my misgivings. Hopefully this coming crack down on immigration won't mean we have to stay in England forever. Because I miss my lovely family.