There was a political/moral issue making the social media rounds a few weeks back, and I felt passionate about it. I kept quiet on the matter until someone I know to be fair minded asked on Facebook for different opinions. So I shared mine. I did it in an intelligent and intense way, and felt really good about the comment. Then I had a mini-panic attack while I sat back and waited for the hate to roll in.
That's a problem.
I am an opinionated person. If something important is going on, I like to educate myself using multiple sources or, whenever possible, the direct source. Then I think about the matter and form my own opinion. I draw on my own life experiences, try to see things from others' perspectives, and be thoughtful and empathetic. You know, like a grown up. But lately, I have kept quiet about those opinions. Well, with everybody except Martin. Poor guy, he has to hear ALL of my opinions.
So why am I no longer talking about the way I feel? I never used to stress out about how my opinions would be received. I relished a good debate! Now I practically have a melt down when I express an unpopular opinion on social media. What's changed?
I'd like to think that it's the rest of the world. To a certain extent, it is. People these days think that their political parties define them, and we have generally become intolerant of differing opinions. And the remove of a computer or phone screen makes us more likely to attack others viciously. Something I've really been thinking in the last few days is that we are more than our political affiliation. So much more! To reduce the people in our lives to nothing more than an "R" or a "D," or any other label, is really doing them a disservice.
I'd like to think it's that.
But really, truth be told, I have become a coward.
I tried so hard to be non-objectionable while we were living with my parents. Obviously I failed, since my dad told me I was argumentative and impossible to live with, but I did my best. And since then, I have continued to bite my tongue in most public places and on most public forums. In some cases, it has been an attempt to keep the peace. But most of the time, it has been out of fear of causing "drama" or making people angry.
Guess what? I am a politically unaffiliated though unashamedly liberal woman. I have been ever since I first started taking an interest in world affairs and started forming my own opinions. I live in a very conservative area, and have a very conservative extended family. I disagree with so many of the things they are passionate about. And I need an outlet. Because if I bite my tongue one more time, it might fall off!
So the nature of my blog is changing. If I can't be more courageous in my online persona and face to face interactions, then I can at least be brave in my writing. Expressing my opinion on Facebook felt good, even with the panic attack. I need to talk about the things that matter to me. So be prepared!
