Friday, February 08, 2013

Getting a Kindle and a smart phone was, like, the worst thing ever...

At least when it comes to my beloved ol' blog. I almost never sit down at the actual laptop any more, and I have yet to figure out that whole "mobile blogging" thing. Apologies to my mother!

Things are going well here. And while I realize that every other time my blog has been neglected it was because I was pregnant, please let me reassure you that is NOT the case now. Martin would kill me if I got pregnant. I am not joking!

Dylan was recently named reader of the week AND mathmatician of the week. He is doing so well in school that I could just burst with pride. SUCH a smart kid. He also managed to swim all the way across the swimming pool completely unaided last week. On his back, as he still has to put his feet down a few times if he's swimming on his front, but still. Progress for the first time on the swimming front. He might even be able to move up to the swimmers class for the next session of swimming lessons.

Edith is growing like a weed lately. She's still got the longest, skinniest legs on the planet, and she just keeps getting taller. I had to go out and buy her new school uniform tops because her old ones were all too short. She's started doing phonics at school, and comes home most days having learnt a new letter and the sound it makes. I'm pretty sure she's going to turn out just as smart as her big brother. Oh, and she got in trouble yesterday at school for drawing on one of her classmate's face with a marker. When I asked her why she had done it, she told me it was "to be funny." That girl!

Martin is doing well. He's been staying busy at work, though they have had a few quiet nights. That's pretty normal for the period between New Years and Valentines Day. He's been building me a bed, and is nearly finished with it. I'll post pictures as soon as it's been assembled in our bedroom (really soon, I hope). It should be beautiful, because he is a really handy sort of fella.

We had a date on Wednesday night. We saw the new Denzel Washington film, "Flight." Wow, that should be required viewing for members of Alcoholics Anonymous. Good movie. I get to choose what we see next time :)

And me? Well, I'm still attending weekly therapy sessions with my friendly neighborhood psychologist. It's hard--emotionally draining and very painful--but doing some good. It's amazing, how she can listen to me and understand me, then very skillfully manipulate the conversation so that I end up drawing the conclusions that she's already reached by myself. If someone tells you why you are doing something, or that you feel a particular way, you just think they're nuts. If you realize it on your own, if you verbalize it, then you have to admit that it is true. I've had some very emotional sessions lately, and some major shifts in the way that I perceive a lot of events in my past.

This journey isn't an easy one to take. I've lied to myself, I've justified things and sugar-coated them as a way of coping. And seeing them the way they actually happened, with a clear and logical eye and with the benefit of hindsight, leaves me feeling raw and exposed. In some ways, it's like re-living some very painful experiences. But for me, understanding WHY I do things the way I do, knowing WHY I am so crazy about some things, actually helps. Because when you understand the reasoning behind your decisions, however flawed, you can change. And that's what I want to do more than anything.

One more week in school until half term, and a whole week off. Martin just told me this afternoon that he is going to have the whole week off, and I did a little happy dance. Now I am looking forward to the break instead of half-dreading it. We'll have a week to just hang out as a family. If it's anywhere near as good as the Christmas break was, we'll all have a good time. Especially because we aren't all sick this time 'round. Well, not right now anyway. Anything could happen in the next week.

I'm desperately trying to think of anything new and exciting in our lives, but I've got nothing. That's the beauty, and the curse, of having a stable life. No drama. A little bit boring. I'm making a new rag rug for my living room. Is that exciting?

So, I'm signing off for now. With a promise that I will try to blog at least once a week. Maybe twice.

MAYBE!

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