I looked in the mirror the other night, and I saw my mother looking back at me. Only for a moment. I usually see my father (but more feminine!). And then I did a little mental maths to work out how old I was when my mom was my age. I was twelve.
I do not feel as old as I thought my mother was when I was twelve!
Maybe it is a little bit different for me, since my mother started having children when she was younger and I was 28 when I had my first baby. But maybe it's not.
I still feel like I am playing mom most of the time. I am so unsure of my parenting, and mostly feel as though I'm making it up as I go along. I still sometimes resent the way the children have taken over my life. I feel like I am still young enough to be out having fun, but I can't because of my kids. Did my mom feel like that at 35, too? If she felt that way with teenagers, how did she cope? Because I seriously thought she had it all together...
Hopefully I am fooling my kids into thinking I know what I'm doing!