Just a typical day during soccer season...

Yesterday was pretty crazy. Dylan went to visit his girlfriend (yes, girlfriend) over in Ephraim. Elizabeth's older sister came and got Dylan in the morning, and we picked him up in the afternoon. I got up early to give Dylan a haircut (he wanted to look cute for his girlfriend), since I am my family's official Covid-19 hairdresser. I've cut everyone's hair but my own. So Edith and I had a very lazy day, but things got crazy around 2.30pm. I picked up some paperwork from Krystle's office since we don't have a printer, then dropped it off at the hospital for our doctor to sign. Then it was back home to pick up Edith and Martin. We drove to Ephraim to get Dylan, rushed back to Nephi to pick up one of Martin's soccer players, and drove to Spanish Fork for a Shooters game. Since we had a non-family member in the car, we drove there and back with masks on. It kind of sucked, but that's the only way I'll let a stranger ride in our car. The game was fun. The girls played well, and we beat the other team 3-1. Edith is such a joy to watch. She gets really stuck in, and can reach so far with those long, long legs of hers. I'm not thrilled that Martin is coaching two teams, but it'll be good once the kids are in high school. They'll be better players for it. Anyway, after the game, it was a quick drive home to drop Lilly off and get Martin kitted out to play in his game. He went to play, and I took the kids to grab some dinner. Edith ate her dinner at his game, but Dylan and I ate at home. Soccer season is so consuming. We have Cook Camp this weekend, but Martin and the kids are going to miss almost all of it because of the autumn friendlies. I'm pretty angry about that, but feel like my hands are tied. Between Martin's two teams and Dylan's team, we have six games to go to on Saturday. I"m not planning on going right now, but we'll see. The thought of 30+ people congregating for a full weekend kind of fills me with anxiety already, so I may use the games as an excuse for some alone time in the car. We'll see. It's only going to get busier, but we had so many months of doing nothing that I almost don't mind. Sheltering in place was hard!

My hands are shaking as I type this...

I just got back from dinner at my sister's house. My awesome brother in law made too much curry (as if there IS such a thing) and he invited us up. The meal was amazing, but the news was not. A couple she works with have an active COVID-19 in the house. They've carried on as usual, going to work every day, cheerfully not wearing masks. I am furious. If Blaine gets Covid, he will probably die. It sounds so terrible, to spit it out so baldly like that. But truth hurts. So does knowing that your irresponsibility killed someone. I hope he doesn't get sick, because it would be terrible to know that someone died because you couldn't be bothered to stay home for a few weeks.

A change is as good as a rest

So they say, and they are right. Today we went to Sugar House to visit with some friends, Mike and Dani. We had a very responsible, small, outdoor gathering. Mike grilled burgers and made mojitos (virgin for us). It was a lovely get together. We were able to forget that things are crazy for a little while. As we were leaving, I got to vent a little bit to Dani about my frustrations regarding mask wearing. I got a little overwhelmed, and I started to cry. She hugged me, and though I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do, it was so necessary. Life right now seems to be a balancing act. I'm carefully walking a fine line between physical and mental health. I'm teetering between keeping the kids active and happy and mitigating risk. Everything is more complicated, and it's starting to take its toll. Even on the days when I seem ok, this miasma of darkness is simmering just below the surface. Sometimes things actually are ok. Yesterday I made a batch of chokecherry jam from the trees on our property. It was hot and sweaty work, but I was so pleased with the results. When we go swimming in Burraston ponds, I have hours at a time when all is well. Card games or Guitar Hero with the family make me so happy. Any time we spend with friends or family (or family who are best friends)brings me real joy. And the vegetable garden...oh, the vegetable garden! But they don't sink deep enough to break up the gloom. Eventually, reality comes crashing back. The distractions are too few and far between. I think I need to schedule things to get a ripple effect going. And i definitely need more hugs.