A change is as good as a rest

So they say, and they are right. Today we went to Sugar House to visit with some friends, Mike and Dani. We had a very responsible, small, outdoor gathering. Mike grilled burgers and made mojitos (virgin for us). It was a lovely get together. We were able to forget that things are crazy for a little while. As we were leaving, I got to vent a little bit to Dani about my frustrations regarding mask wearing. I got a little overwhelmed, and I started to cry. She hugged me, and though I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do, it was so necessary. Life right now seems to be a balancing act. I'm carefully walking a fine line between physical and mental health. I'm teetering between keeping the kids active and happy and mitigating risk. Everything is more complicated, and it's starting to take its toll. Even on the days when I seem ok, this miasma of darkness is simmering just below the surface. Sometimes things actually are ok. Yesterday I made a batch of chokecherry jam from the trees on our property. It was hot and sweaty work, but I was so pleased with the results. When we go swimming in Burraston ponds, I have hours at a time when all is well. Card games or Guitar Hero with the family make me so happy. Any time we spend with friends or family (or family who are best friends)brings me real joy. And the vegetable garden...oh, the vegetable garden! But they don't sink deep enough to break up the gloom. Eventually, reality comes crashing back. The distractions are too few and far between. I think I need to schedule things to get a ripple effect going. And i definitely need more hugs.