A second viewing...

The nicest little couple came to look at our house yesterday. One of them I have actually met before--she is a PCSO who works with Lewis. They have pets and hope to have children, and they loved our house. The size, the quirkiness, the enclosed garden, the lot.

They have scheduled a second viewing for tomorrow, and I am kind of nervous about it now. Not that they won't want the house, mind you. I've gotten used to that. I am slightly nervous that they WILL want the house, and that they will make an offer that we are happy with. Because even though the job situation isn't great right now, socially we are having a lot of fun!

Staying in England is looking a little bit appealing right now. We have great friends, a great ward, our kids are settled and thriving in school, and we are comfortable. To be honest, I have always had commitment issues. But when I DO commit, I find it very hard to let go. And I don't want everything to change. What if things get worse?

And yet, what if things get better?

Dad, do you remember that time you took us to the casino in Wendover to show us how gambling "never pays"? You put a dollar in a poker slot machine and won $20. Then you blushed and said, "That NEVER happens, girls." Well, good news. The lesson, though it didn't exactly go to plan, seriously stuck. I don't like to play the odds. Ever!

But for all that, if we DO sell the house in the next six weeks, I will be thrilled about it. I miss my family so much. All of you! It will just be terrifying to leap back into the unknown. I am getting too old for all this nonsense. Too old to start over again!

Ok, my angst filled rant is finished. I'm inventing problems that don't even exist yet. And really, my anxiety isn't that big of a problem. I can always just have my doctor up my dosage of Prozac and crack on. And even if we sold the house tomorrow, we would still have to wait at least six months before we could move. Deep, cleansing breaths. I need to do some yoga!

On another note, I had a girls' night out yesterday. It was weird. We all went out to a pub in Hull together whilst Martin stayed at home with the kids, and we had a GREAT time on our way there. We were belting out power ballads at the top of our lungs and headbanging to "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Then we got there, and ran into one of the girls' ex-boyfriend's new girlfriends. The one he cheated on her with. Also, the other girl I went with has recently decided to split up with her husband. So there was major drama all night long. Though I still had fun, I went home VERY grateful for my marriage to my wonderful husband. Seriously, how did I get so stinking lucky? Heaven knows I didn't deserve him when I met him, and most days I still don't. But he's still in love with me after all these years, and I am still crazy in love with him, too.

Tomorrow is my last day of work before the kids' summer holidays. It's going to be nice to have six weeks off with the kiddies. Martin has a couple of irons in the fire, so to speak, and he's still picking up barrow joinery jobs. I think we're all looking forward to warm days filled with bike rides, trips to the park to play football, swimming, picnics, and plenty of time at friends' houses. I know Martin and I are looking forward to not doing a school run every day! There is absolutely no dread this year for the long break. I know my kids, and I know they can entertain themselves. Well, Edith can, anyway. I am glad we'll have some time off together. We're all a bit burnt out right now, and it will be great to relax the routines and have a little fun.

I may not post for a bit though, since I hardly ever go on the computer at home and I can't post from my phone. I'll try though, and there will be plenty of pictures on Facebook and Instagram.

See, just typing about summer has made me relax and stop worrying about the possible move. Oh wait, now I am thinking about it again. Anxiety is back.

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala...