Complicated...

I have a strange relationship with my two dads.

My mom and dad split up when I was just a baby.  Then my mom remarried an amazing man who already had two daughters of his own (I just started humming the Brady Bunch theme song).  They joined their families very successfully and then had two daughters together.  Later, in an attempt to diffuse the estrogen, they adopted a son.

I have called my stepfather "dad" since I was about 3 years old.  He raised me, and treated me like his own daughter.  I love him dearly, and always will.  Most of the time, it doesn't even occur to me that I'm not actually his!

And my father?  Well, we lost touch over the years.  I had a new family, we moved far away, and with each passing year it became more and more awkward that we hadn't seen each other.  He always sent me birthday and Christmas cards and gifts, and included his contact information.  He left it up to me, whether I would see him or not.  That's a big decision for a little girl, and it wasn't one I was capable of making until I was much older.

We finally met when I was 17.  It was really strange.  In the discussion about nature vs. nurture, I'll go 50/50 every time.  I hadn't seen this man since I was about 3 years old.  I was raised by someone else.  But not only did I look just like him, we ARE alike.  We share similar personalities and an almost identical sense of humor.  And when I met the rest of the family later that year, it was like I'd never been away.  I was so much LIKE these people.

So I have two dads--one who gave me life and one who made me who I am.  I am like both of them, and I love both of them. 

Dad, you were and are a wonderful father to me.  I love you so very much for taking on the very difficult challenge of raising a mixed family and doing it with such style, grace, and love.  For always making me feel that I was equal to your "real" children.

Daddy Doug, I'm glad that you're in my life now.  You give me a sense of who I am and have taught me so many lessons, both about you and about myself.  I see the way your life has gone in recent years and really admire the man you are.  I love you, too.

So, to my two dads, thanks for being the men that you are.  Between the two of you, I think I've turned out alright.  So far, at least. 

Let's reserve judgment until we see if I really screw up my own kids.

Happy belated father's day.

I love you!