Dylan and I used to go EVERYWHERE together. We went swimming two times a week. We went for walks at Water's Edge. We did errands in town. We went to play groups. We were hardly ever home!
Then Edith came along, and the fun trips wound down as I couldn't take both kids anywhere on my own. I knew Dylan had a good run of it, so even though I did feel a bit guilty, it was only a bit.
I swore that when Dylan started school I would take Edith fun places, too. Then she started napping the whole time Dylan was at school so we spent a whole school year going nowhere.
It was shaping up to be that way this year, too. Martin's split shift makes it difficult for me to take Edith anywhere if I want to see him as well. But I've made an executive decision. I need to take my daughter out to do fun stuff.
Sadly, it kind of involves saying, "Screw you, Martin. I'll see you on Sunday." We're going to have to do some juggling and creative scheduling.
I'm a little bit bitter about Martin's work schedule right now. Bonfire night was tough. Martin was working, of course, and I decided to take the kids for a walk to de-sensitize them to the fireworks. We kept passing couples who were walking up to the town's bonfire, and it made me so sad. I am married to the most wonderful man I've ever met. I'm still crazy about him. I think he's kind, funny, intelligent, hard working, and incredibly hot. I have someone, but I still spend most of my time alone. It's kind of pants.
Feeling a bit emotionally needy right now. I just need to shake off this funk and get over it. Martin's job is what it is, and I am glad he even has one! But loneliness is, well, lonely.
Pretty deep, huh? I need to stop waiting up for my husband and just go to bed. Being tired does nothing for my cognitive skills. But I DID just bust out "cognitive." That's got to count for something at 11pm.
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