We're doing it!

This week, Edith and I went to lunch with Cathy, Grandad, and the Gilbert Great Grandparents.  We also went shopping and swimming together.  We had drinks and snacks at Stables with Martin.

I am exhausted!

But Edith has been having a great time, and that's what matters.  Truth be told, I'm having a great time as well.  I love my daughter to distraction and am enjoying taking her out on her own.  Mostly because she is MUCH better behaved in public than Dylan was at her age.  We can actually have a very nice and civilized meal together in a restaurant and we both love shopping together (as long as I don't actually need to buy anything).  She likes to try on accessories...

I have also managed to go to the gym every day this week (except for today--my Zumba class was cancelled).  I decided to go early in the morning--about 7:30am.  It makes getting Dylan to school on time a bit stressful, but it gives me structure and a schedule.  I'm feeling good about my work-outs.  I was there twice yesterday.  Once for my workout and twice for Water Babies with Edith.

My saintly mother-in-law asked if she could have the kids over every other Saturday, and they were with her today.  It was nice to have a few hours to myself.  I didn't do anything exciting--just cleaned the kitchen and had a late lunch.  But it was still good.  I enjoy my outings with the kids, but I still struggle most Saturdays because we don't see Martin at all.  He goes in at 11am and doesn't come home until about 1am Sunday.  The kids are good company, but I miss my husband.

I've been thinking about the ways I've changed in the past 4 years or so.  When Dylan was a little baby, I was still a working girl.  I hadn't been on maternity leave for very long, and I was still adjusting (badly) to motherhood.  I had lots of interests outside of my home and family.  I didn't want to be home alone all day with my new baby, and I needed to be around other adults almost constantly so I wouldn't be bored out of my mind.  That's ALL changed now.  I am a career home-maker, and my focus is almost completely on what happens within my own home.  When told I can't talk about my kids, I find I often have nothing to say.  I could quite happily stay in my house and not talk to others for days.  My kids are my entertainment, and boy are they good at it!

This has changed the way I interact with other people a lot.  I find myself withdrawing from most of the friends I made in my early days of motherhood.  Well, most of my friends, really.  I very rarely make an effort to see other people, and it doesn't usually bother me.  Truth be told, I think I may be slightly agorophobic.  But every once in a while I feel the effects.  This weekend has been one of those times.  I've had a lovely couple of days, but am feeling very isolated.  This is when it would be nice to have family nearby.

Jeez--I've been such a negative Nancy lately.  Poor, poor pitiful me.  Wah, wah, whinge, sob.  I have such a wonderful life, and am very lucky and/or blessed.  I love my beautiful children and my wonderful husband.  We've built a life together here in England.  I am genuinely happy about 95% of the time.