Gilberts' Fridge

Eating in England...

Anyone fancy some bubble and squeak?
How about some bangers and mash?
I could really go for pie, chips and mushy peas!
Spotted dick sounds smashing!
A bit of sponge would be lovely for pud!
Ooohhh, I love scampi!
Spaghetti bolognase sound OK for tea?
Black pudding for breakfast?
Dead man's leg for dessert.
Haggis, neaps, & tatties for Burns Night.
Cockles and Whelks are lovely if you're at the seaside.


Does this sound like a foreign language to you?

The food over here is lovely, but man it is weird for someone who grew up on mid-west cooking! And the names they give their food--why can't they just call it what it really is?

Translation:
Anyone fancy some bubble and squeak? / mashed potatoes and cabbage, fried (leftovers only)
How about some bangers and mash? / sausage and mashed potatoes
I could really go for pie, chips and mushy peas! / meat pie, fries, and boiled, mashed peas (a lot like refried beans but radioactive green instead)
Spotted dick sounds smashing! / a sweet suet (shortening) cake with raisins
A bit of sponge would be lovely for pud! / cake for dessert
Ooohhh, I love scampi! / breaded and deep fried shrimp or monkfish
Spaghetti bolognase sound OK for tea? / pasta with meat sauce
Black pudding for breakfast? / a nasty concoction not fit to be consumed by man OR beast that the English eat fried up on a plate of death! Congealed blood mixed with herbs and oats and stuffed into a sausage casing
Dead man's leg or jam roly poly pudding. / cake and jam rolled up together
Haggis, neaps, & tatties for Burns Night. / Oats and herbs and ground up "meat" in a sausage casing which is steamed and served with rutabega and potatoes
Cockles and Whelks are lovely if you're at the seaside. / small clams and other strange shellfish, eaten with vinegar

Is it any wonder that I've been losing weight!

Saying that, I should be gaining it instead. Look at all the potatoes on the list above. Not to mention all the desserts (annoyingly called "pudding," even when the substance does not resemble pudding in any way, shape, or form). The desserts are almost always served with cream as well.

This whole country seems to think they are either back in the dark ages or still on post WWII rationing and they eat accordingly. Go into a traditional butcher's shop some time--I dare you. Most likely you will eaither vow to eat ONLY steak or become a vegetarian! If you want a research project, find out what's in Brawn!

Martin has a rebuttal to type, but I personally think he's biased!

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