New Blog

Those of you who occasionally look at my Google profile may have noticed that I'm starting a new blog. It's a record of my progress in therapy, which I started yesterday.

So what is my therapy for? Nearly 16 years ago I was raped by my boyfriend. I then stayed with him for quite some time, for several very messed up reasons, and my life has never been the same. My therapy is for PTSD, and I will be delving into and dealing with all of the issues, including sexual issues, that resulted from this event and certain events that followed.

It's going to be a private blog, because it is for ME! Journals aren't really my thing, but blogs are. I will invite people to view it if they want to and I am ok with them, but I felt like I should put up a few disclaimers. So here goes:

This isn't going to be some fluffy little blog about how my kids are adorable/annoying and the neighbors are driving me nuts. This is going to be pretty hard-core. With that in mind, all potential readers should be aware that...

1) I will not be censoring my language. If you can't deal with it, don't read it. Don't even ask.

2) I will not be editing my experiences that are discussed in therapy (as above--this blog is for ME). I'm tired of hiding a whole lot of things, and I need to get them off my chest. For that reason, my parents probably won't be invited to read it any time soon. Love you, Mom.

3) A lot of my issues stem from family dynamics. I ADORE my family--all of them--and any issues that I have are MY fault, but I will probably say some things that may be hurtful. If you don't think you can handle reading them, don't read it! Just know that I love you all and think you are all completely wonderful.

I'm not looking for any sympathy. I'm looking for a way to finally move past this stuff and start living my life more fully and without the use of some pretty horrible coping mechanisms I've developed over the years. It's not going to be pretty, but it's going to be beneficial to me. If you feel like you'd like to come with me on my new journey, feel free to send me a message. I'll be posting probably weekly after each therapy session, and I'll also be posting some back story stuff. It'll start this weekend.

This is going to be dark and a little bit scary, but it could be interesting. And who knows? It could end up helping someone other than just me.

Let the healing begin.