On the phenomenon of “Lads Mags”
So I know that growing up in rural Utah is like being raised in a plastic bubble. You are completely cut off from mainstream popular culture. But I moved away at an early age; saw the world, experienced life, etc. I wouldn’t say that I was completely sheltered (despite my parents’ best efforts). I have come across something in England that shocked me at first, but now just disgusts me. It’s the infamous “Lad Mag.”
The “Lad Mag” is a semi-reputable publication, either a newspaper or a magazine, which caters to an audience of 16-35 year olds. The news is gossipy and fun—the literary equivalent of a Big Mac opposed to a 3 course sit down meal. The articles are mostly about various sports or the newest cars, and are generously broken up by pictures of half naked women.
The page three girl, a regular feature of the less reputable newspapers, is practically an institution over here. Remember the pop star Samantha Fox from the mid-80’s? She got her start as a page three girl. There are loads of quasi-celebrities over here that are famous for their appearances on page three of The Star, The Sport, or equally “classy” papers. These girls, like Zoe, 24, London, are famous just for taking their tops off and appearing nearly naked in a national newspaper. One paper even lets the girl show off how clever she is, by printing one of her comments on a little news snippet called “the news in briefs.” Clever play on words, but still disgusting, and the magazines are worse. Page after page of topless girls is briefly broken up by some stupid story about the latest antics of some football club’s manager. And where can one buy these magazines? Anywhere! They’re not even put on the top shelf so young children can’t reach them. They aren’t even covered up, like Cosmopolitan in most Utah grocery stores. You can walk into any supermarket and be greeted by a bevy of bare breasts.
You can almost forgive the “lads” who buy the magazines. I know the whole “boys will be boys” argument is a pathetic excuse, but it’s still socially acceptable. It’s all the married or otherwise attached men who buy them that really bother me. They sit in the cafeteria during their breaks and ogle the pictures of scantily clad young women, commenting lewdly on their bodies with no consideration for their female colleagues sitting next to them. They sit there with their pasty pale faces and sagging beer bellies critiquing the figures (never faces—funny, that) which would be the envy of most women. And then they go home to their wives or girlfriends, who will never look like the page three girl, and don’t even think twice about how degrading their actions at work are to the women they profess to love. People say that women set an unrealistic standard of beauty for themselves, but I think it’s mostly the men.
I think perhaps one of the worst things about this casual nudity is that it becomes normal after a while. Even the most sensitive person still reads the story on page two, seeing the picture of Zoe, 24, London, on page three but not really noticing it. And maybe that’s the worst part. These women are exposing their bodies to the world, and most of the world glances at them without really seeing them. This shocking display goes completely unnoticed, and that girl’s desperate bid for attention is, in the end, a waste of time.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
A Solution—Sort Of…
A few days ago I got to talk to my lovely sister Angie. I hadn’t talked to her in ages, and it was so nice! Her daughter Haven sang me “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and I also spoke to Anya (the most beautiful child ever!!!).
In the course of the conversation, it came out that people over on t’other side of the pond are a little upset that Martin and I aren’t planning on finding out the sex of the baby. Not because they are dying to know or anything, but because they want to buy stuff for Maggot and can’t find anything cute that’s gender neutral. Here’s my solution.
Don’t buy us anything.
Just kidding! If you want to buy gifts for the newest grandchild, great grandchild, niece or nephew, feel free. We have virtually nothing for a baby, and I love getting packages in the mail. But we won’t really need much for the first few months because the baby’s only going to be eating, sleeping, crying, and pooping. All we need are little onesies and sleep suits, and we have bought the newborn ones that we need. Maggot will need church clothes, and that’s about it. What we WILL need are little outfits for 3-6 months or 6-9 months, so if anyone wants to buy gifts, just wait until after we’ve had the baby and know its sex. See—everybody’s happy, right?
So yeah, in pregnancy news, I’m feeling really good now! My morning (and mid-day, and evening, and middle of the night) sickness is virtually gone, and I am starting to get a bit of my energy back. Sometimes I actually manage to forget that I’m pregnant! The baby is definitely growing, because I am getting a little pregnant belly and I can sleep through the night without having to get up to use the bathroom. Hooray!
In Martin land, the job is going well. Valentine’s Day was a big success, and their business has really picked up since then. It would seem that diet season has officially ended, so he might start earning a bonus soon. He is working on the house like crazy, and our guest bedroom is nearly done. He’s got some cladding to put up on the wall, the door, radiator, and trim to paint, and the floor to do. Then we can start getting the furniture up there and move back to the front room. It’s really coming along.
In me news, things are pretty much the same as always. Work continues to be a chore to get to but a delight to stay (most days). I still really like all the people I work with, and most days I stay really busy. College is going well. I’ll start my assessments next week, and hopefully will be fully qualified shortly.
That’s the update.
A few days ago I got to talk to my lovely sister Angie. I hadn’t talked to her in ages, and it was so nice! Her daughter Haven sang me “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and I also spoke to Anya (the most beautiful child ever!!!).
In the course of the conversation, it came out that people over on t’other side of the pond are a little upset that Martin and I aren’t planning on finding out the sex of the baby. Not because they are dying to know or anything, but because they want to buy stuff for Maggot and can’t find anything cute that’s gender neutral. Here’s my solution.
Don’t buy us anything.
Just kidding! If you want to buy gifts for the newest grandchild, great grandchild, niece or nephew, feel free. We have virtually nothing for a baby, and I love getting packages in the mail. But we won’t really need much for the first few months because the baby’s only going to be eating, sleeping, crying, and pooping. All we need are little onesies and sleep suits, and we have bought the newborn ones that we need. Maggot will need church clothes, and that’s about it. What we WILL need are little outfits for 3-6 months or 6-9 months, so if anyone wants to buy gifts, just wait until after we’ve had the baby and know its sex. See—everybody’s happy, right?
So yeah, in pregnancy news, I’m feeling really good now! My morning (and mid-day, and evening, and middle of the night) sickness is virtually gone, and I am starting to get a bit of my energy back. Sometimes I actually manage to forget that I’m pregnant! The baby is definitely growing, because I am getting a little pregnant belly and I can sleep through the night without having to get up to use the bathroom. Hooray!
In Martin land, the job is going well. Valentine’s Day was a big success, and their business has really picked up since then. It would seem that diet season has officially ended, so he might start earning a bonus soon. He is working on the house like crazy, and our guest bedroom is nearly done. He’s got some cladding to put up on the wall, the door, radiator, and trim to paint, and the floor to do. Then we can start getting the furniture up there and move back to the front room. It’s really coming along.
In me news, things are pretty much the same as always. Work continues to be a chore to get to but a delight to stay (most days). I still really like all the people I work with, and most days I stay really busy. College is going well. I’ll start my assessments next week, and hopefully will be fully qualified shortly.
That’s the update.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I am starting to get a proper little pregnant “bump,” and it is really freaking me out!
OK, prepare for more neurotic ranting. With my ectopic pregnancy, I was convinced I was starting to “show” before I found out about the whole thing. Then I found out about the problems, and I felt right stupid for thinking I had a normal pregnancy. Now I know everything is normal. I have seen the baby—seen its heart beating, seen it moving. I have had my pregnancy confirmed by several different medical professionals. And yet part of me still feels this is not real, and that my growing belly isn’t me being pregnant. I really feel like I am just getting really fat.
Martin is really great about the whole thing. And I am actually losing a little weight through the bum, thighs, and midriff. I really am only gaining on my tummy. But it still feels fake. Like maybe I have wanted to be pregnant for so long that I have convinced myself I am but it’s all in my head.
On a very positive note, now that the baby is getting bigger (he’s about the size of a clenched fist right now), he’s lifting out of my pelvis. This means that my bladder has its own personal space back, and I can sleep through the night without getting up to use the toilet. Hooray! I am also sick a lot less, though it hasn’t gone away completely. I still have to be careful about what I eat and when I eat it, not let my stomach get empty, and avoid certain smells that really make me ill. Sleeping all night long is really making a huge difference!
Martin is still getting on well at work. Valentines Day was good for the restaurant, though not good for the two of us. We didn’t see each other all day. Martin was asleep when I left for work, then he was at work when I got home. I went to college, and then he came home for a brief break between lunch and dinner. I got home from college at about 9:30, and he didn’t get home until midnight. I woke up for a few minutes when he got into bed, but that was it. We’re going out to dinner tonight to celebrate instead. He is working the day shift instead of the evening.
College is going well. I am completely caught up in my course work and have passed off all of my exams. We have next week off for half term, and when we come back I start doing my assessments. I have to check with my instructor and see if I can do my assessments a little bit faster—before my pregnant belly starts getting in the way. If everything goes well, I should have my assessments done by around April or May. Then we hand in our portfolios in June, and have our little graduation ceremony. Once I have my certificate, I can start practicing. I’ll be 7 months pregnant at that point, so I probably won’t be able to do much right off, but I’ll have that qualification. I’m really excited about it.
We did some baby shopping last night, and picked up two little outfits to take the baby home from the hospital in. One for a girl, the other for a boy. We have pretty much decided we don’t want to find out the baby’s sex in advance. Martin had so much fun picking out the boy outfit, since he got to buy little miniatures of the clothes he wears, but he freaked out about the girl stuff. He denies it, but he really doesn’t want to have a little girl. The thought of it terrifies him, mostly because a girl would be so strange to him. He wouldn’t know what to do with her. If it is a girl, I’m sure he’ll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, we now have an adorable cream coloured dress and little cream coloured socks, or tiny denim shorts and a preppy little button down cotton shirt. Both outfits are absolutely adorable!
That’s the Gilbert family update. Sorry it’s mostly about me and Maggot. He’s really all I want to talk about right now.
OK, prepare for more neurotic ranting. With my ectopic pregnancy, I was convinced I was starting to “show” before I found out about the whole thing. Then I found out about the problems, and I felt right stupid for thinking I had a normal pregnancy. Now I know everything is normal. I have seen the baby—seen its heart beating, seen it moving. I have had my pregnancy confirmed by several different medical professionals. And yet part of me still feels this is not real, and that my growing belly isn’t me being pregnant. I really feel like I am just getting really fat.
Martin is really great about the whole thing. And I am actually losing a little weight through the bum, thighs, and midriff. I really am only gaining on my tummy. But it still feels fake. Like maybe I have wanted to be pregnant for so long that I have convinced myself I am but it’s all in my head.
On a very positive note, now that the baby is getting bigger (he’s about the size of a clenched fist right now), he’s lifting out of my pelvis. This means that my bladder has its own personal space back, and I can sleep through the night without getting up to use the toilet. Hooray! I am also sick a lot less, though it hasn’t gone away completely. I still have to be careful about what I eat and when I eat it, not let my stomach get empty, and avoid certain smells that really make me ill. Sleeping all night long is really making a huge difference!
Martin is still getting on well at work. Valentines Day was good for the restaurant, though not good for the two of us. We didn’t see each other all day. Martin was asleep when I left for work, then he was at work when I got home. I went to college, and then he came home for a brief break between lunch and dinner. I got home from college at about 9:30, and he didn’t get home until midnight. I woke up for a few minutes when he got into bed, but that was it. We’re going out to dinner tonight to celebrate instead. He is working the day shift instead of the evening.
College is going well. I am completely caught up in my course work and have passed off all of my exams. We have next week off for half term, and when we come back I start doing my assessments. I have to check with my instructor and see if I can do my assessments a little bit faster—before my pregnant belly starts getting in the way. If everything goes well, I should have my assessments done by around April or May. Then we hand in our portfolios in June, and have our little graduation ceremony. Once I have my certificate, I can start practicing. I’ll be 7 months pregnant at that point, so I probably won’t be able to do much right off, but I’ll have that qualification. I’m really excited about it.
We did some baby shopping last night, and picked up two little outfits to take the baby home from the hospital in. One for a girl, the other for a boy. We have pretty much decided we don’t want to find out the baby’s sex in advance. Martin had so much fun picking out the boy outfit, since he got to buy little miniatures of the clothes he wears, but he freaked out about the girl stuff. He denies it, but he really doesn’t want to have a little girl. The thought of it terrifies him, mostly because a girl would be so strange to him. He wouldn’t know what to do with her. If it is a girl, I’m sure he’ll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, we now have an adorable cream coloured dress and little cream coloured socks, or tiny denim shorts and a preppy little button down cotton shirt. Both outfits are absolutely adorable!
That’s the Gilbert family update. Sorry it’s mostly about me and Maggot. He’s really all I want to talk about right now.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
The Magical Work Ethic to the Rescue (Again)
Not for the first time in my life, today I am grateful for the work ethic that my wonderful parents began instilling in me from an early age.
Emma, the OTHER pregnant temp at work, got sacked yesterday. They said that it was because of a combination of performance and attendance. Personally, I think it was more attendance than anything else. She was pretty sick, just like me, but unlike me she called in sick a lot. I just toughed it out, threw up in the toilets at work, sucked on mint candy, and struggled on. And now, she is gone and I still have a job. I’m sad to see her go, but still—Hooray!
As each day passes, I feel a little bit better. But then, just when I think I’m in the clear, I have a really bad day. But I am just a few days shy of my second trimester, and I am thrilled about that! Another delightful pregnancy quirk that has just cropped up is insomnia. I get to sleep just fine, but then my bladder wakes me up at 3 am (seriously, you could set a clock by it!). I get up to use the bathroom, then I lie in bed awake for the next hour and a half. I finally start to get some good sleep again about an hour before my alarm goes off. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve had to drink, nor does it matter how tired I am before I go to bed. Fabulous. Jenny (at work) says it’s just my body preparing me for the sleeping habits of my baby. Thanks for that, Jen!
We are having another cold snap over here. It was -3C this morning. But the snowdrops are blooming, and the daffodils are just beginning to peek their heads above the ground. We should be awash in a field of yellow in the next 4 or 5 weeks. Spring is coming, and I am so excited. England in the spring is more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. I didn’t take many pictures last spring, but I promise to be much better this year. Seriously beautiful!!!
Not for the first time in my life, today I am grateful for the work ethic that my wonderful parents began instilling in me from an early age.
Emma, the OTHER pregnant temp at work, got sacked yesterday. They said that it was because of a combination of performance and attendance. Personally, I think it was more attendance than anything else. She was pretty sick, just like me, but unlike me she called in sick a lot. I just toughed it out, threw up in the toilets at work, sucked on mint candy, and struggled on. And now, she is gone and I still have a job. I’m sad to see her go, but still—Hooray!
As each day passes, I feel a little bit better. But then, just when I think I’m in the clear, I have a really bad day. But I am just a few days shy of my second trimester, and I am thrilled about that! Another delightful pregnancy quirk that has just cropped up is insomnia. I get to sleep just fine, but then my bladder wakes me up at 3 am (seriously, you could set a clock by it!). I get up to use the bathroom, then I lie in bed awake for the next hour and a half. I finally start to get some good sleep again about an hour before my alarm goes off. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve had to drink, nor does it matter how tired I am before I go to bed. Fabulous. Jenny (at work) says it’s just my body preparing me for the sleeping habits of my baby. Thanks for that, Jen!
We are having another cold snap over here. It was -3C this morning. But the snowdrops are blooming, and the daffodils are just beginning to peek their heads above the ground. We should be awash in a field of yellow in the next 4 or 5 weeks. Spring is coming, and I am so excited. England in the spring is more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. I didn’t take many pictures last spring, but I promise to be much better this year. Seriously beautiful!!!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Clarification...
I do NOT know if I am having a boy or a girl. I don't even suspect it might be a boy. It is way too early for any of that. We are calling the baby "he" for simplicity's sake.
Also, we have nick-named the baby Maggot. Sorry to all of you who think that's a horrible name for a fetus. He looked like a maggot at my first ultrasound. Plus, he was making me miserable and I didn't like him very much at the time (though, of course, I love him!!). The name just kind of stuck, so that's what he'll be called for the time being. Don't worry though--he (or she) will have a proper name when he's born!
I do NOT know if I am having a boy or a girl. I don't even suspect it might be a boy. It is way too early for any of that. We are calling the baby "he" for simplicity's sake.
Also, we have nick-named the baby Maggot. Sorry to all of you who think that's a horrible name for a fetus. He looked like a maggot at my first ultrasound. Plus, he was making me miserable and I didn't like him very much at the time (though, of course, I love him!!). The name just kind of stuck, so that's what he'll be called for the time being. Don't worry though--he (or she) will have a proper name when he's born!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
We went to my second ultrasound yesterday, and it was even more amazing than the first one!!!
So, first things first, despite my neurotic panic that something would go wrong, everything looks normal. The strange mass on my gestational sack is nearly gone. It is small enough to be considered within the ranges of "normal," and didn't even get mentioned in my paperwork. The baby is growing at a normal rate (he's 48mm long right now) and I was only one day off in my calculation of my due date. New date is August 19th.
I thought the first ultrasound was amazing, and it was, but this one was so incredible. Even though Maggot's only about 2 inches long, he really looks like a baby already! And he was moving around like crazy! I joked with the woman doing the scan that I wasn't sure if I was excited to feel that or not. The first time I saw him move I nearly cried. I really have a baby inside me!
Martin had a good time at the scan as well. He actually showed a little excitement (shocker)! I could tell he was happy because when he saw the baby move he got this amazed expression on his face and he said, "I made that!" He also said that the baby MUST be his, because it wouldn't stop jiffling around. The technician actually had a hard time getting measurements because Maggot wouldn't hold still. I was so relieved to see our little acrobat.
For the 30 minutes after the scan Martin and I walked around with big, dumb grins on our faces. When I got back to work everyone ooohed and ahhed over the picture, even though you can't see much. I am so happy right now!
So, first things first, despite my neurotic panic that something would go wrong, everything looks normal. The strange mass on my gestational sack is nearly gone. It is small enough to be considered within the ranges of "normal," and didn't even get mentioned in my paperwork. The baby is growing at a normal rate (he's 48mm long right now) and I was only one day off in my calculation of my due date. New date is August 19th.
I thought the first ultrasound was amazing, and it was, but this one was so incredible. Even though Maggot's only about 2 inches long, he really looks like a baby already! And he was moving around like crazy! I joked with the woman doing the scan that I wasn't sure if I was excited to feel that or not. The first time I saw him move I nearly cried. I really have a baby inside me!
Martin had a good time at the scan as well. He actually showed a little excitement (shocker)! I could tell he was happy because when he saw the baby move he got this amazed expression on his face and he said, "I made that!" He also said that the baby MUST be his, because it wouldn't stop jiffling around. The technician actually had a hard time getting measurements because Maggot wouldn't hold still. I was so relieved to see our little acrobat.
For the 30 minutes after the scan Martin and I walked around with big, dumb grins on our faces. When I got back to work everyone ooohed and ahhed over the picture, even though you can't see much. I am so happy right now!
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