Gilberts' Fridge

I am starting to get a proper little pregnant “bump,” and it is really freaking me out!

OK, prepare for more neurotic ranting. With my ectopic pregnancy, I was convinced I was starting to “show” before I found out about the whole thing. Then I found out about the problems, and I felt right stupid for thinking I had a normal pregnancy. Now I know everything is normal. I have seen the baby—seen its heart beating, seen it moving. I have had my pregnancy confirmed by several different medical professionals. And yet part of me still feels this is not real, and that my growing belly isn’t me being pregnant. I really feel like I am just getting really fat.

Martin is really great about the whole thing. And I am actually losing a little weight through the bum, thighs, and midriff. I really am only gaining on my tummy. But it still feels fake. Like maybe I have wanted to be pregnant for so long that I have convinced myself I am but it’s all in my head.

On a very positive note, now that the baby is getting bigger (he’s about the size of a clenched fist right now), he’s lifting out of my pelvis. This means that my bladder has its own personal space back, and I can sleep through the night without getting up to use the toilet. Hooray! I am also sick a lot less, though it hasn’t gone away completely. I still have to be careful about what I eat and when I eat it, not let my stomach get empty, and avoid certain smells that really make me ill. Sleeping all night long is really making a huge difference!

Martin is still getting on well at work. Valentines Day was good for the restaurant, though not good for the two of us. We didn’t see each other all day. Martin was asleep when I left for work, then he was at work when I got home. I went to college, and then he came home for a brief break between lunch and dinner. I got home from college at about 9:30, and he didn’t get home until midnight. I woke up for a few minutes when he got into bed, but that was it. We’re going out to dinner tonight to celebrate instead. He is working the day shift instead of the evening.

College is going well. I am completely caught up in my course work and have passed off all of my exams. We have next week off for half term, and when we come back I start doing my assessments. I have to check with my instructor and see if I can do my assessments a little bit faster—before my pregnant belly starts getting in the way. If everything goes well, I should have my assessments done by around April or May. Then we hand in our portfolios in June, and have our little graduation ceremony. Once I have my certificate, I can start practicing. I’ll be 7 months pregnant at that point, so I probably won’t be able to do much right off, but I’ll have that qualification. I’m really excited about it.

We did some baby shopping last night, and picked up two little outfits to take the baby home from the hospital in. One for a girl, the other for a boy. We have pretty much decided we don’t want to find out the baby’s sex in advance. Martin had so much fun picking out the boy outfit, since he got to buy little miniatures of the clothes he wears, but he freaked out about the girl stuff. He denies it, but he really doesn’t want to have a little girl. The thought of it terrifies him, mostly because a girl would be so strange to him. He wouldn’t know what to do with her. If it is a girl, I’m sure he’ll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, we now have an adorable cream coloured dress and little cream coloured socks, or tiny denim shorts and a preppy little button down cotton shirt. Both outfits are absolutely adorable!

That’s the Gilbert family update. Sorry it’s mostly about me and Maggot. He’s really all I want to talk about right now.