Gilberts' Fridge

Not much going on...

Dylan is sound asleep--he actually went down without a fight tonight. As he gets older and more aware of his surroundings, he sleeps less and less. He just wants to be up and playing and looking around. But I find that I don't mind so much, now that he is a happy and smiling baby.

For the last three months people have been asking me if he's a good baby. I've very dutifully said yes, but now that he actually IS being a good baby, I'm beginning to realize just how high maintenance he's been. Honestly, no wonder I was at my wits' end! I felt like maybe I was just being a big baby about the whole motherhood thing--that maybe something was wrong with me for not loving every second. Now I know that it wasn't me--he was a very demanding little guy and took up every minute of my day. Now he will happily sit and entertain himself for 30-45 minutes at a time, and he really is a joy.

I'm starting to feel like a human being again instead of just a milk cow and zombie. And the more Dylan and I are together, the more we are learning to live with each other. He smiles more for me than for anyone else. It irritates Martin, but I love it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I adore my baby! He has totally taken over my life. Every waking minute is spent with him and I am consumed by his care. But we have a good time together, and even though I've never worked so hard in my life I have also never done anything as rewarding. There are times when I wish I was still childless (I never thought I'd ever say that!) but those times are few and far between. And when Dylan smiles at me, or giggles and bashfully looks away with that adorable little grin of his, my heart melts. I can't imagine not being his mother.