Nature or nurture...

I spend nearly every waking moment with my children.  I have been with Dylan for all but about 5 days (total) of his nearly 3 years.  I watch him like a hawk-mostly because I have to.  I have seen his personality develop and have watched him grow.  And for all of that, I still have no idea how I stand on the whole "nature vs. nurture" debate.

Was he born with his character strengths and weaknesses?  Was he born to be independent and inquisitive?  Or did I make him that way because of my struggles and parenting style (or lack thereof)?

I can't even look to my daughter to answer that question.  Dylan has changed me so much, as a parent and as a person, that the way she is being raised is completely different to the way Dylan and I started out.  They are totally different, and I STILL don't know if she was born that way or if she is the way she is because of me.

Either way, the prospect of parenthood is completely terrifying.  If I am moulding them, well, what a frightening prospect.  Every action, every word, every moment that I am with my children will determine the way they cope with things in the future.  And if they were born to be a certain way, what am I doing to let them grow up to be who they were meant to be?  Am I stifling them with my rules and trying to force them to be something they are not and will never be?

I have to be honest--most of the time I don't look to the future with my children.  I take it one day at a time, just trying to make it through that day with good grace and good humor.  Each day is filled with wiping bottoms, preparing meals, cleaning up, doing laundry, and cuddles.  I hope that what I'm doing proves to be enough.  That I don't stifle my children, and that I don't let them turn into mini-tyrants either.  It's such a fine line.

Dylan is strong willed.  He has definite opinions, and he isn't at all shy about expressing them.  He likes to be in charge, trying to direct play when he's around other kids.  He has a fantastic imagination, and will entertain himself for hours with a toy car, a few pieces of wood, and his sandbox.  He is smart!  He is really perceptive of the world around him.  He is nearly three going on 13.

Edith is shy.  She likes to take everything in before she makes any decisions.  She already knows how to push Dylan's buttons, and she is becoming very manipulative.  She is smart as well, and copies everything she sees.  She is very slow to lose her temper, but makes up for her lack of speed with intensity. 

How can two children who come from the same gene pool and have been raised by the same people be so different?