Fear...

I have always looked forward to the next stage with Dylan.  From the very beginning I looked forward to his first tooth, crawling, talking, walking, etc.  I've loved watching him grow up and become more independent.

But last night I was going through some clothes we were given for Edith, and I saw some cute little jeans that were 12-18 months.  They were so big, and all of a sudden I realized that in just 4 short months Edith will be wearing that size.  And I became a little bit afraid of her growing up.

She won't be my little baby for very much longer.  Already she is nearly crawling.  She also waves hello and goodbye and just last night figured out how to clap all on her own.

Maybe I am just terrified because I don't want to deal with another two year old.  Dylan seems to be past the worst of the terrible twos (though now I've jinxed it and he'll be horrible all during Christmas) and I don't want to do it again with Edith.  But I don't think that's it.  I've loved having a baby in the house this time around.  Seriously, it's been so delightful.  But soon I will have a young child and a toddler, and then it will be two children.  Before I know it, I'll have two teenagers.

Plus, the older they get, the older I get.  I know that's only simple logic, and I should have realized this before.  But it's not something I tend to think about on a regular basis.  In fact, usually only at birthday time.

Bottom line is, I don't want my baby Edith to grow up.  Can't I just keep her 8 1/2 months old forever?  I can't even imagine her as a toddler.  Though I'm sure she'll be a lovely one.  I think I need to start preparing myself for the fact that she is going to grow up and accept that it's going to go faster than I realize.