2010

Weird.  I can't believe a new decade has started.  Where did the last 10 years go?

New Years is kind of a strange one for me.  I never got into making new years resolutions.  To be honest, writing a different number in my diary never seemed like that big of a deal.  Except for when I was about to graduate from high school, and that's been a long time now.

I do like what my friend Amber did (was it) last year.  Instead of using this day to write my resolutions for 2010, I will use it to "write" the ones for 2009.  So, with that in mind, last year I...

...gave birth to my beautiful daughter Edith.
...got our house ready to sell and listed it with an estate agent.
...successfully created and maintained a household budget that most people wouldn't be able to survive on!
...grew my hair out (again).
...started a daily exercise routine.
...continued to develop in my role as a stay-at-home mother of two and housewife.

All things considered, I guess it's been a pretty successful year.  And, while I won't call them "resolutions" because I refuse to make those silly things, there are some things I would like to accomplish this year.  I would like to...

...NOT be pregnant or breastfeeding a baby for at least part of the year.
...get the house sold (though it's not really up to me, but I can make sure it looks really good!).
...move back to Utah (this one totally contingent upon the other one).
...lose weight (yes, I know.  Totally cliche.  But I want to have that darned surgery to get rid of my "apron."  I've already set that as a goal, so it's not a new years thing anyway)
...enroll in an art class of some kind.

Hopefully this will be a big year for our family.  I want it to bring weight loss and surgery for me, an American passport for Edith, a green card for Martin, a house sale, and an international move.  But the baby stuff and the art class stuff is definitely acheivable, no matter what!

We went to Lincoln on Wednesday to see Martin's cousin Gareth.  I really like him--he's such an unbelievably nice guy.  Sadly, we hadn't seen him since Dylan was born.  When he told me he hadn't seen me since I became a mum, I was shocked.  Had it really been that long?  I feel like I've been a mother for ever!  It sort of seems like my life before I had kids has faded away to nothing, because I am totally consumed by my current role.  I feel like it's changed me completely, and I wonder if other people see it that way.

Emma said yesterday that she sometimes forgets that I have a baby.  Dylan was such a big deal in our lives, and Edith kind of slipped in under the radar. 

Having these kids has definitely changed my body and my body image.  My stomach is so grotesque as it is, and that is 100% the fault of my pregnancies.  I certainly had my flaws before, but I always had a nice shape (though it was a bigger one than I'd have liked).  I love my children, but I loathe what they've done to me physically.  Edith more than Dylan.  Seriously, I now hate my body.  But I am amazed by what they've done to me emotionally.

So here I am, doing a self-check at the beginning of this year.  I like who I am, but not what I look like.  I like where I am, but I still want to move.  So there is definitely room for growth.

I'm really rambling.  Coherent thought just doesn't happen for me on 6.5 hours of sleep.

Happy New Year everybody!