With friends like these...

...who needs enemies. 

No clever puns or plays on words.  Just that.

I think I have a "frenemy," and I have been reminded over the last few days why I always preferred to have male friends.

This friend of mine always makes me feel like a bad person when I talk to her.  And it always has to be me who contacts her.  She humiliates me on public forums (like Facebook--not private messages, but on her Wall).  She told me that she'd seen my husband cheating on me. 

So why do we stay friends?  I really like hanging out with her.  She's fun, smart, witty, and intelligent.  Once upon a time, we were really good friends.

Or maybe I just don't want to admit that my initial judgment of her could have been so wrong.

I can't stand "girl games."  I've never been able to.  Even Martin was surprised by the way that I don't do passive-aggressive guilt tripping and barbed compliments.  For the longest time, he would assume that I was playing little mind games with him.  But I say what I mean, and I mean what I say--and I assume that other people do the same.  This is a good thing, but it's left me ill-equipped when it comes to dealing with people who DO like to play games. 

I don't understand why you'd even remain "friends," whether on Facebook or in real life, with someone you didn't like.  If she doesn't like me, she should just tell me so, un-friend me, and move on.  It would be an easy thing to delete her mobile number from my contacts.  I have a very busy (if somewhat dull) life and wouldn't miss the barbed compliments, accusations of nastiness, public humiliation, highlighting of character flaws, and lies about my husband's fidelity.

Why are women so horrible to other women?

On the flip side, I had a lovely couple of girlie hours with Emma today (so now you know it's not her)!  The kids went to Hall Farm with their grandparents, so Emma and I had a garra fish pedicure, shopped at the local charity shops, and got some lunch.  She reminded me of why it's nice to have girlfriends.  She is such a lovely person--a genuinely kind, caring woman who I really admire.

Obviously, though, I like my "frenemy" as well.  Otherwise, what she said wouldn't bother me.  Because, quite honestly, I don't give a toss what most people think of me.  Just the ones I care about.

Ugh.  The politics of friendship are so complicated.  It makes me just want to lock my door and only hang out with my children.  They are so simple and honest.  They don't have any ridiculous social filters yet, and they ALWAYS tell the truth.