36 weeks and counting...

I can hardly believe it--I am 36 weeks pregnant today. My due date is a scant 4 weeks away, and I am full term in just 7 days time. I am terrified all of a sudden (though still anxious for this pregnancy to end)!

I have my hospital bag more or less packed. I just need to throw in some toiletries that I'm still using on a daily basis, so I can't finish until it's actually time to go. The baby clothes are all washed and folded up in the new closet that Martin built. I need to dig out the baby bath, but that won't need doing until a little bit later. The moses basket is all made up and lovely. Obviously, I don't have to worry about formula and bottles. I have newborn diapers and all the other disposable products I will need. Physically, I'm all ready for baby #2. Emotionally, well, that's another story.

The prospect of a demanding and sleepless newborn is daunting right now, when I barely have the energy to chase after Dylan. He's lovely, but some days are a lot of hard work. He's happy in front of the television, but I hate to have it on too much. We are down to about 1 1/2 hours a day at the minute. He has one show he watches before his bath. He also watches while I fix breakfast and lunch, and while I have my half hour of computer time in the morning. But he still likes to be carried down the stairs (perfectly happy to climb up them) and needs cuddles when he wakes up from his nap. How will I handle that when I am carrying a newborn around and constantly feeding him/her? When Dylan was small I fed him every 2 1/2 hours or so, and he fed for aobut 45 minutes at a time. Logistically, how is this going to work? ESPECIALLY if I have to have another c-section!!!

I am also worried that I won't have enough time to devote to both children. I love that Dylan and I have a special relationship and we have loads of giggles and cuddles. A new baby means I won't be able to devote myself so much to Dylan during the day. Will he be ok with that? And will I ever be able to develop that relationship with Newbie?

I'm sure everything will work out ok. It never ceases to amaze me what people are capable of. I hope I am the kind of person who steps up and gets it done when it needs to be, and I know we are all able to do so much more than we give ourselves credit for. But I'm still nervous!

We had a great evening yesterday. Caitlin Munday hosted a Chinese party. Emma cooked a feast. I contributed my home made Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken, and the food was great. Then we put Dylan to bed and the kids all played upstairs while the grown-ups played on the Wii downstairs. I got some great video clips of Martin and Lewis doing a dancing game and singing Karaoke. After I have Martin take my 36 week belly pics I will post videos and pictures. We always have a good time at Lewis and Emma's house, even when we don't actually do anything!

Martin and I are going on a hot date tonight. Dylan is going over to Lewis and Emma's house while we go to a movie and cook each other dinner. I am in charge of dessert, and am making an apricot upside down cake with whole roasted hazelnuts. Sounds yummy, doesn't it? It's a new recipe, so we'll see. Oh the joys of having a hubby who works in a restaurant. We haven't spent Valentine's day together for years!