I do realize that I have been posting nearly every day. But I know that I won't be posting much when the new baby gets here--at least not while we're settling in. Also, I seem to be pretty much glued to the sofa all day at the minute. I'm hugely pregnant and tired all the time. So I hope you all don't get too bored with me!
My midwife appointment went well yesterday. The birth plan is done, and it is pretty basic. The only thing I was worried about is that they would give me grief over my epidural. Last time it was like they got a bonus if you used gas and air for pain relief, and they pushed it like crazy. This time around, I told them I wanted to go straight to an epidural as gas and air made me sick and I spent most of my labor vomiting and I don't want diamorphine as it crosses the placenta to the baby. The midwife wrote it down, no questions asked. I guess they figure I know more about what works for me this time as it's not my first rodeo, so to speak.
The baby has dropped--big time! My belly is much lower down than it was last week, and bizarrely enough feels softer as well. In some ways I am more comfortable now. In others, not so much. The pelvic pain is really intense most nights and I am STILL not sleeping. My body wants to sleep little and often, probably in preparation for a newborn. Unfortunately, my lifestyle doesn't permit that. Good thing Dylan is the best toddler in the world. He's currently sitting next to me on the sofa and watching cartoons--happy as Larry.
Last night I sorted through some old paperwork that had been piling up and hemmed some curtains (been having strange bursts of energy). Martin called all of the people who are sending us medical bills to let them know we're involved in a dispute with our travel insurance and asked them to freeze our accounts. Everyone was good about it except for ONE, and they weren't nasty. They just said that they were unable to freeze our account. So that's a huge weight off our shoulders. The bank are claiming they didn't do anything wrong, so we are taking our dispute to the next level. I'll keep everyone posted.
I was watching Dylan playing this morning and thinking about when he was smaller. His back was to me, and I remembered the way his neck fascinated me--especially when he started holding it up more on his own. The way his skull connects to his spine is so beautifully elegant, and I used to just look at that one little part of him and think how amazing he was. I still feel that way, too. Every once in a while I'm still taken aback that he is my son-that his body was made inside mine. He is so perfect and beautiful, and I am so proud that I carried him and nurtured him for nine months and helped him be the way he is. And I am thrilled that I am doing it again!
Of course, the hard part is making sure the inside matches the outside now. I want him to be as beautiful as he looks!
And I have major anxiety that Newbie won't be as good looking. Could I love an ugly baby?