We went to Sheffield yesterday for Martin's last baseball game. It was an OK day--just not much fun for me (as usual). Dylan had a great time and Edith is happy as long as she gets fed. And Martin had fun because he was playing baseball. I got to chase Dylan around and feed Edith, plus pack everything we could conceivably need for a 6 hour outing. Oh, and I got to make the picnic.
We managed to not spend money on anything but petrol to get us there, but I got really angry on the drive home when I realized how much money it cost us to drive there and back. Part of our new budget measures include a limit on the petrol we put in our car, and now I don't have enough to drive us to Grimsby and back tomorrow. I'll have to take the needed cash out of my grocery budget because we HAVE to go. Dylan has an appointment with the surgical team from Sheffield (weird coincidence) about his recommended surgery. Unfortunately, we also need butter and baby rice.
I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who has given anything up because we had children. Logically, I know that's not true. Martin and I are BOTH broke because of the kids. But I devote my entire life to them, and sacrifice all sorts of stuff--time, talents, energy, money, food, sleep, etc. Martin still goes to work, goes out with his friends (though not often, to be fair), and participates in the sport he enjoys. And I am stuck worrying about getting us to hospital appointments and feeding the family because of it!
I was so angry last night that I just needed to get out. Once the kids were asleep, I went for a long walk. I think it was about 3 miles. I walked along the river bank until the sun was setting, and I found the most beautiful spot! It's an old dock, from the look of it. There is an old brick foundation and the remains of reinforced concrete. There are old wooden supports that have been eaten away by the elements. The light was just right, and I would have given anything to have my camera at that moment. I'll definitely be back there--it's just my kind of place!
Anyway, by the time I got home I had cooled off a bit. And Martin had tried to make things up to me by tidying up the house a bit. It was much appreciated! And today has been a good day, even though Martin is at work all day again. The kids went down for naps at the same time and without a big fuss. I am doing laundry and am nearly done washing it all--just needs to dry on the line. While the kids were asleep, I made another batch of plum jam and did the prep for dinner.
I love the days when I can get everything done that I need to!
Martin popped home for a few minutes to drop off the plums that were left in the car so I could make jam. He probably got all suspicious because I answered the door (it was locked and he didn't have his key) in my bathrobe and wouldn't let him in the house. Simple explanation, really. I was in the middle of getting dressed when Edith started fussing to be fed. So when Martin knocked I didn't have my clothes on and grabbed my robe to answer the door. And the house was disgusting so I didn't want him to see it. But he probably thinks I was trying to hide something or someone from him.
Though really, when would I find the time?
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