Thank goodness for my mother-in-law...

Before you ask, no, I still haven't had the baby.

Martin and I are both coming down with the delightful virus that poor Dylan's been struggling with all week. Martin actually came home from work early today (which he never does) because he felt that rough. I spent the afternoon in bed while Dylan napped and Martin took care of him when he woke up. Then Christine dashed in to the rescue and is having him overnight so we can get some rest. We pretty much haven't moved off the sofa since then. Budging only to use the toilet and get drinks. Thankfully, no vomiting. Maybe we are just more experienced at holding it in than Dylan is.

Sickness aside, it's been a pretty good day. Jen and I took Dylan to the Fun Forest in Brigg and he played on the giant indoor playground there for about an hour and a half. It totally wore us all out (I climbed up and took him down the giant slide in the hope that it would bring on labor, but no such luck) but it did mean that he took a giant 2 hour nap this afternoon. It was nice to see him running around and playing again. He's still not got his appetite back and he's kind of weak, but he's interested in playing again. And having the virus now, I can totally understand why he's been so needy all week. I'd love to just sit on the sofa and have my hair stroked all day long, too.

Once again, it's a mercy that I haven't had the baby yet. I am actually hoping NOT to go into labor tonight. I don't think I'd have the energy to try to push a baby out. But I won't complain if it happens.

This week has been hard, and I've hated almost every minute of it. I am tired and uncomfortable with this extremely advanced pregnancy. Dylan has been so difficult to look after. I've honestly felt like I could barely take care of myself let alone my little man. I've hated being a mother all week. But last night, after the longest day of all, I reflected on this whole journey. I felt tired and burnt out and physically and emotionally drained, as I quite frequently have since getting pregnant with Dylan, but still incredibly happy.

I remember posting before I conceived about the longing being back. I wrote about how after my ectopic pregnancy and termination I didn't want to even try to have a baby any more. The desire to be a mother disappeared for quite a while because I didn't want to face that kind of pain again. And then it came back all of a sudden. Then I found out I was expecting, and I was filled with the most incredible joy. When I found out I was pregnant with Dylan, I cried tears of joy for hours--I literally couldn't stop.

And now I'm about to do it all again. I'm so frightened by the prospect of having another baby. I'm anxious about the delivery and the recovery. I have no idea how I'll manage if I have to have another c-section. I dont know how I'll be able to manage two kids this close together in age. But, for all that, I'm so excited to welcome this new baby into our home. I'm grateful for the blessings and love that a new baby brings.

Oh, by the way, I have some 41 week belly pics to post but the camera is in my purse and I can't be bothered to get off my backside to get it. Never fear--embarrassingly large belly pictures will appear soon.